


Princess

by Slouchtonirvana



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 3, Fallout 4
Genre: Developing Relationship, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Prostitution, Slow Burn, but not really cause im patient, kinda slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:29:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 43,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26700703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slouchtonirvana/pseuds/Slouchtonirvana
Summary: Before Macready was a merc in Fallout 4, he was the child mayor of Little Lamplight, where kids leave when they are 16.In Lamplight, there is a girl named Princess. What if Princess turned out to be Lucy, his wife that passed away in Fallout 4 lore? This is a story of young love, and that love growing into adulthood. Princess (later Lucy) goes through hell, and Macready comes in like a white knight to save her. This is pre-fallout 4. Also, Lucy doesn't die in my story cause I am a sucker for a happy (and smutty) ending. Yes, there will be fluff and smut.I had started this a while ago and added the first chapter, then re-reading it I decided to do some edits and slow it down. Enjoy my canon kinda non canon work.
Relationships: R. J. MacReady/Original Female Character(s), Robert Joseph MacCready/Female Sole Survivor, Robert Joseph MacCready/Sole Survivor
Comments: 9
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

Mayor Macready stood on the wooden, ramshackled platform that acted as the gate into Little Lamplight, dark caverns that the children had made a home out of. Knick Knack, the kid who worked with traders to get supplies, came running up to him.

“Mayor! There is a girl up here, wants to be let in!” He spit out between breaths.

“Is she a fuckin’ mungo?” Macready asked.

“Nah, little.”

“Well open the fucking gate then.”  
Knick Knack nodded over to the other kid who worked the pulley on the gate. They nodded in reply and slowly pulled the ropes, easing the gate down slowly. Macready stood on his tiptoes to look over, and finally the girl came into view. Small, young. Younger than him.

“Come in, then, the fuck you waiting on?” Macready shouted, turning his back on the girl, not missing her flinch at his words. She slowly stepped through the gate and the other kids raised the gate back up so it was closed. He turned around to get a good look at her. Half her face was nearly beaten in, with her eye swollen shut. Her lip was split, and blood still trickled out of it. Bruises on her throat. Fucking mungos, he thought to himself. “Well, who the fuck are you?”

She flinched again. “I don’t have anywhere else to go, and I heard kids and stay here.”

“Yeah well, you sure as shit heard right. No mungos allowed. Mungos are big people. Kids only. Now, just who the fuck are you?”

She just stared at him, fidgeting her hands together.

“What’s the matter, Princess? Cat got your tongue?”

She looked down at the ground and he sighed. “Princess, it is then. Come on, let’s get you cleaned up. We got some decent first aid around here.” He beckoned her to follow him. She stepped behind him, eyes to the ground, shoulders slumped. He felt a pang of sadness.  
Macready reached over to put an arm around her shoulders, and she flinched away from him and yelped. He put his hands back at his sides. “Hey, you are safe now. Come on. You hungry?”

She didn’t answer him. “Well, how old are you? I’m twelve, and I am the fucking Mayor of this shit show.”

He didn’t expect her to answer but he heard a meek voice behind him say, “Ten.”

He smiled. “Welcome to Little Lamplight, Princess. Welcome home.”

He beckoned her to follow him and she continued to do so. Her head stayed hung low but her eyes darted around the room every few steps, taking in her surroundings. He walked her to the first aid room. One of the kids had been trained by some traders who shared their knowledge for some of the fungus that grew in the cavern that got rid of radiation. 

MacReady beckoned for Princess to sit on a small table they had, and the kid who did first aid, Becky, came in with a medkit. MacReady took a seat in a chair by the bed and was watching Princess with interest. She flinched and jumped at every movement. Many kids showed up hurt to the caverns, but this was one of the worse ones. 

Becky stood in front of Princess with a wet cloth. “I’m just going to clean the blood off so that I can see what I am doing, alright?” Princess nodded, and Becky set to work. 

“Who fucking did this to you?” MacReady’s curiosity got the best of him. 

She shrugged. “My mama’s boyfriends. Ain’t the first time. Got sick of it. Left.” Her sentences were short, like just speaking was painful. MacReady looked at Becky and they shared the same thought, might be broken ribs. 

Becky carefully cleaned her face and neck, and poured a can of water over her hair to wash out the blood there. “We can get you an actual bath later, we got warm water and soap.” 

Princess perk up at that. “I can have a bath, like in a tub? With soap?”

MacReady was baffled. “What, you actin’ like you ain’t never had a fucking bath.”

“I haven’t.”

That made Macready’s chest do that fucking pang thing again. He scowled, why this stupid kid was having this weird effect on him was beyond him. Once she was wiped off, Becky was able to administer a few stimpacks around her head and neck. Becky then got really close to Princess and said in hushed tones, “I need to check your ribs. Can you take your shirt off?”

MacReady’s face turned a bright red as Princess just lifted up her shirt. He was behind her so all he saw was her back but that got his teenage imagination going. Becky clicked her tongue, taking a look at the damage. She placed fingertips and pressed to a few spots. MacReady stared at her back, and saw a few scars from what looked like a whip. His lip curled while Becky just administered two more stimpacks. Princess then put her shirt back on. 

Becky took her hand into hers and clasped it. “You have a few lacerations on your scalp, and a crack in the bone around your eye, The stimpack should fix that. You have an obvious concussion, and several broken ribs. With all the stimpacks I gave, you should be feeling better soon. You are safe her, Mayor Macready takes good care of us. We don’t go hungry and we have medicine. And no one beats on us here. Anyone tries to hurt you, you go straight to Macready, you got it?” Princess just nodded her head in response. 

At that, Macready got up. “Alright, I’m gonna take you to your own little bed. You will be shacking up with another young girl but you still have your own space. Come on, follow me.” He took her by the elbow and directed her out of the room. “We can get you some supplies like clothes and such, you will need to dress warm cause it gets cold down here. Most of the kids don’t really leave unless they have good reason to. It is dangerous out there for kids.”

Princess just followed him, and he took her to one of the kids that runs the storehouse. They went through some boxes and found her some clothes and shoes, and a coat. They had found a box to put her things in and Macready looked over to see her fingering books on a shelf. “You know how to read?” She nodded. “Good, maybe you can teach some of these other dumb fucks to read. Including me.” Her eyes lit up at that. She took a couple of books off the shelf and put them in the box with her other things, a hairbrush and shit. 

Macready carried the box for her as they headed down the cavern to where the kids all slept. Deep inside the cavern were several rooms built on platforms like treehouses around the stalagmites and shit. He found the one he wanted her in, a room with another young girl about eight. He set her box on her bed and watched as she carefully sat down. “Bathroom with a tub is just down the hall there. Feel free to get washed up and get some rest. Other than reading, what else can you do?”

She thought for a moment, then looked up. “I’m a real good shot, my pa taught me how to hunt.”

“Fuckin’ nice. Can always use that here. Well, get some rest and come see me in the morning. I was fucking honest about want you to teach these idiots, and me, to read. See you tomorrow,” he said, heading out the door. 

Her tiny voice carried through the room. “Goodnight, Mayor.”

  
2 Years Later

Macready was sitting at the table, leaned over with his elbows on his knees, face in his hands. Traders had been few and far between, and they had almost no food left. The older kids were trying to handle it, but the younger ones cried as the pains in their bellies became intolerable. He sighed heavily and shouted to one of the other kids, “Yo! Bring me Princess! I need to have a meeting with her!”

Knick Knack shuffled his feet and looked down. “She still ain’t back yet, Boss.”

Macready stood up. “The fuck you mean she ain’t back yet? Where the fuck did she go?”

“I dunno, Boss. She left three days ago with her shotgun and some ammo, said she would be back soon.”

Macready roared. “She has been gone for three goddamn days and no one bothers to fucking tell me?”

Before Knick Knack can answer, Macready storms off to talk to the kids at the gate. Someone had to know where she went, and he started forming a plan for a search party. The kids rarely, if ever, left the caverns for their own safety. As he reaches the gate, he hears one of the kids yell. “Princess coming in! Open the gate!”

Macready sighed in relief, then the anger flowed in. He stood with his arms crossed, toes tapping, making sure his angry face was the first one she saw. She slowly walked in, limping, carrying a heavy bag in one hand, shotgun in the other.  
She saw Macready and gave him a weak smile, then slowly walked up to him.

He wasn’t going to let her get away with this. “And what the the fuck do you think you are doing, leaving without telling me where you are going or when you are coming back?”

She sighed and threw the bag at his feet. “Hunting. Got food. There you go. Make sure the little ones get first pick. I am going to bed.”

Macready’s jaw dropped as he watched her shuffle off down the cavern. “We ain’t done talking, yet! Come see me after you sleep, or I will throw you to the mungos!”

Princess just threw a hand up to wave him off as she kept walking. Macready smiled for a moment, then wiped it off as he shouted a kid over to him. “Take this food, cook it all up before it spoils. Let the little ones eat first.” He watched the kids gather the bags of food and carry it off to be cooked. They would eat well tonight. It won’t last forever though, and he needed to talk to Princess about this going off without telling him. 

He headed to the cabins deep in the cavern, and found her room. She had her own spot now, being a bit older and having seniority. She was sitting on her bed, pulling her boots off with a sigh. He stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame. “So, you gonna fucking tell me what that was all about?”

She didn’t look up while taking off what little armor she had. “We needed food, the kids are going hungry. I am good at hunting.”

“What you are good at is doing whatever the fuck you want and not saying shit to me. I am in charge here, and you are my responsibility. So when you decide to just fucking leave and not tell me where or for how long, I get fucking pissed!”

Princess stood up at that and shouted back. “What the fuck does it matter? Huh? If I had told you, you would have kept me from going!”

“Damn fucking right I would have! You have any idea how dangerous it is out there for you?”

“I know the danger, alright? I was safe, I stayed away from settlements and didn’t try to take on any bigger game than I knew I could handle,” she explained. 

“Yeah? What happens if a fucking slaver finds you out in the woods and sells you off to some fucking raiders, huh?” Macready was trying to real in his temper, but he was still really fucking pissed, pissed that was actually panic and anxiety over having almost lost her. 

“Oh my god that is so hyperbolic! Something like that happening is slim to none, why the fuck would that even cross your mind?”

He stormed across the room and held onto her shoulders, making her look him in the face. “You ain’t fucking ten anymore. You are older now. I ain’t trying to be fucking weird or anything, but a slaver could see you and sell you to any fucking man for a lot of caps.” Princess blushed bright red. “I ain’t wanting that to fucking happen. Do you understand me? I don’t want to fucking lose you, especially not like that.”

She softened and finally met his eyes. “I’m sorry, Mayor. I didn’t mean to make you worry like that. I just wanted to get food for everyone.”

He huffed out a breath and pulled her into his arms. He tried to not think about her body being pushed against his. “I want you to be safe. That is more important. You want to go hunting, you take someone else with you. One of the older kids. And don’t stay out past a day, I want you back by nightfall. Do you fucking understand?”

She nodded against his shoulder. “I’m sorry.” It was a whisper in his ear. He leaned back and cupped his hand under her chin. She didn’t flinch anymore. 

“It’s okay, Princess. I ain’t that mad. Just fucking scared is all. I ain’t trying to fucking lose you.” She nodded again, this time into his hand, and blinked out a tear that he brushed away with his thumb. “Alright, get some rest. Come see me later, alright?” She just turned from him and laid down on the bed. She was asleep before he even left the room. 

2 Years Later

“I just don’t understand why you have to leave,” Princess was sitting on his bed while he packed up his stuff. 

“Everyone has to leave when they turn sixteen, you know that,” he said, shoving clothes into his pack, saving room at the top for food and ammo. 

”But you don’t have to go, you can stay. You have been mayor for years, you can make a rule that you can stay,” tears were streaming down her face as she fingers a hole in her pants. 

Macready looked over at her and his heart hurt. He didn’t want to leave, didn’t want to leave her. But this is how it is, has been for hundreds of years. No one stays past their sixteenth birthday. Setting the rest of his stuff in his pack, he knelt down on the floor in front of her. Grasping her chin, he forced her to look at him. “We all have to leave, you will too in two years. I’ll come back for you, I’ll take care of you, okay?”

She crossed her arms across her chest, but as he stared at her, her face softened. She reached for a parcel she had sitting beside her. “I got you something. I found it with a trader, and I made some adjustments to it. A goodbye gift, if you will.” She handed it to Macready. He stood again and ripped apart the newspaper that had wrapped it. Inside was a light brown duster, a long one. He shook it out and took a good look at it. 

Princess stood up and started pointing at random spots. “I took the front in here, so you can button it all the way down and still have freedom of movement with your legs. I stitched these pockets in here for magazines and ammo. And here,” she opened the duster and pointed to an inside pocket, “Is a place for your comic books.” She gave him a smile through the tears. 

He stared at the duster for a moment and almost started crying himself. He swallowed the lump in his throat and looked over at her. She was trying so hard to smile for him. He threw the duster on the bed and put an arm around her waist, pulling her to him. He wrapped his other arm around her shoulders and held her in a tight hug. Time seemed to slow down and he felt a shuddering sob from her. He started rubbing a hand on her back. 

She pulled slightly away from him, and they just stared at each other. Blushing, she placed a gentle peck on his cheek. Feeling brave, he pulled her back in for a sweet but quick kiss on the lips. It was no more than a brush of lips against hers, but he had to stop because he wanted more. Stepping away from each other, he picked the duster back up and put it on. It fit perfectly. 

“Thank you,” he mumbled. 

Her hand brushed his. “You’re welcome.” Leaning forward, she buttoned the front of it for him. Taking a deep breath, Macready grabbed his pack off the floor. “I’ll walk you out,” she whispered, tears starting to fall again. 

At the entrance of the cavern, several of the kids had gathered. No one else was as put out as Princess, this was just normal. Everyone left when they became a mungo. At the door, Macready turned to Princess to say goodbye one more time. He put his hands onto her at arm’s length, like he knew he had to let go but couldn’t. She smiled again at him and he stared at her, wanting to burn that smile into his memory. She straightened the collar of his duster, fixing it so it sat straight under his pack. 

“I promise I will be back for you.” His voice was cracking, fuck. 

“Please send word on a caravan or trader that you are okay,” she ordered him. 

“I’ll come back for you, I promise. And I’ll take care of you. I’ll spend the next couple of years making as much money as I can and I’ll take care of you. Two years and-”

“Just fucking go!” Princess yelled through the tears. “Go!”

“Princess-”

She turned from him and walked back into the caverns. He sighed, and turned and went the other way, into the sunlight. He blinked at the light, and saw raiders fighting not too far in the distance. Fuckin’ mungos. 

2 Years Later

Princess stood at the door of Little Lamplight, the traditional goodbye birthday party in full swing. Usually the kids just said bye and that was that, but Princess had grown close to all of them, a mother or older sister to them all. The smaller children cried, and she set down her pack to gather them all in a group hug.

“Now, now,” she cooed. “No need for all of this. You all are so good at taking care of yourselves. We all have to leave.” She winked at the one sniffling in her arms. “I mean, I am a filthy Mungo, now.”

A few of the kids sniffled and wiped their noses. She stood up and picked up her pack, walking to each child to say goodbye, to wipe their tears. The last time anyone cried when someone left was when MacReady had left, and it has been her in tears. Her stomach hurt for a moment. She had really hoped he would come back for her, send word that he was safe, anything. But no news came from traders or caravans.

She adjusted her things, buttoning up her coat. “I’ll see y’all later, alright? I love you all.” She turned on her heel and basically ran out of the caverns before they saw her cry. She still wasn’t any good at goodbyes. Leaving the cavern the sunlight slightly blinded her. She wasn’t completely disabled by it, she left the cavern a lot to hunt and trade. Some of the kids lived their whole lives in the darkness. She sighed and set foot towards Big Town, the place that kids go when they become adults.

Upon reaching the town, she found it to be deserted. She swallowed down the panic that bubbled up. It was starting to get dark, so she found a small house and bunked down. She pulled a dresser in front of the door and rolled out her sleeping bag in a corner. She snuggled down into the bag, and let the tears come down that she had been fighting back all day. 

The next day, Princess woke up at daybreak. She opened a can of cram and ate a few bites, washing it down with some water she had packed. She cleaned herself up and got ready for a long walk ahead of her. She had no idea where she could go. She knew that trading caravans wandered the road constantly, and there was a settlement about two days walk ahead. SHe set to walking on the road, hoping to find a caravan. She tried to not think of Mac, not think about the way he would hug her, hold her hand, the way he would cup her chin and force her to look at him. Didn’t think of those piercing blue eyes watching her face, knowing her. She swallowed the next set of tears that bubbled up. 

She was walking down the road for half the day when she came on a caravan. She talked to one of the guards for a moment, and they agreed to let her travel with them to the settlement. Relieved that she was slightly more safe now, she ignored the way one of the caravan guards watched her. When she first saw him, he reminded her of Mac, but the way his eyes looked over her body was nothing like the young boy she knew. She kept her mouth shut on the road, walking inside the guards.  
They bunked down that night in a makeshift camp. One of the guards lit a fire, and they cooked some food to share with everyone. Princess went into her bag for her own food, she didn’t want to be indebted to these people, especially the way the one watched her. She was exhausted, the emotional toll of the day wore on her. She rolled out her sleeping bag somewhat close to the fire, and the one guard who had been watching her rolled his out entirely too close for her comfort.  
“It’s okay, Sweetheart. I just want to make sure you are safe and watched over. Lots of bad men out here,” he said with a leer. 

She didn’t respond, just huddled down closer in her bag, knife in her hand. She passed out fairly quickly. 

The next day she was woken up just before dawn. The man close to her was kneeling next to her sleeping bag, gently pushing on her shoulder. “Hey, Beautiful. Time to get up, we gotta head out so we hit the settlement before nightfall.”  
Silently nodding, she pulled herself out of her bag and got her things ready. The guard was still kneeling by her, watching her. “What is a beautiful little thing like you doing out here all alone?”

She didn’t know how to explain it all. “I’m from Little Lamplight, a settlement for kids. We get kicked out when we turn 16. Big Town is deserted, I don’t know where to go now.” She clapped a hand over her mouth, she shouldn’t be sharing all of this with him. 

He smiled at her. “Yeah, I have heard of the place. So you got nowhere to go, huh? I could help you with that.”

“No, that’s okay. I’ll figure it out.”

He leered at her, getting up to get his own things. “Your opinion will change later. I got connections, can make sure you get taken care of real well.”

His words seemed sympathetic and kind, but his face and body language creeped Princess out. Her mind went to mac again as she rolled her things up to pack them away. Would he come to try to find her? 

They made it to the settlement by nightfall. Princess had no idea what to do when the caravan guard approached her. “Let’s go in here and get some food and drink. My name is Kyle, by the way.”

“I don’t have any caps,” Princess confessed, looking down at her feet. 

“Don’t worry about that.”

She met his eyes. “Please don’t expect me to pay you in other ways.”

He laughed. “Nah, don’t worry about that, I can tell you are real innocent. Let me just get you some food, and we can try to figure out something for you.” His face softened at that. Princess felt slightly more at ease, but she fingered the knife on her leg. He took her by the elbow and led her to what seemed like a saloon in the middle of the settlement. 

He bought her dinner and brought her a glass of whiskey. She ate the hot meal with vigor, and gulped down the booze. Alcohol was rampant in Little Lamplight, put a bunch of kids together with no rules and they can get pretty crazy. The burn in her throat was familiar, and her body relaxed finally. 

Kyle sat with her for a while, watching her as she had a second drink. Finally, he got up and talked to the bartender. Princess watched the bartender talk to him, then look at her. She blushed brightly, whatever could they be talking about? 

Finally Kyle came back to the table with a key in his hand, and handed it to her. “Alright, I talked to the owner of the bar. He is willing to give you a room, and give you a job tending bar. Ain’t gonna be easy work, but you will have a roof over your head and caps in your pocket. Stay as long as you want, figure something else up, whatever. But this is your deal for right now.”

She held the key in her hand. “Why are you helping me? How did you get him to help me so easily?”

He reached over and placed his hand over hers. “Cause you are a real sweet and pretty little thing, and I don’t like the thought of you walking the roads alone, trying to get random caravan guards to help you. It could have gone bad with us, but you got lucky. I don’t want to think about what can happen to you out there. I can sleep tonight knowing you are safe. I travel through this settlement quite a bit, I will come check on you. Anyone tries to touch or hurt you, you just tell me who and I will fucking gut them.”

Princess blushed again, but didn’t pull her hand away. She just looked down. He was reminding her of Mac more and more. At least she would be safe for now, make some caps. The settlement is close enough to Lamplight, maybe Mac will come here to find her. For now, it was her best option. Kyle’s thumb rubbed her wrist where he held her hand. She looked up and met his eyes, tears brimming. “Thank you, for your kindness. I will be honest, you scared me at first. But I appreciate your altruism.”

He laughed again. “Oh, you are educated, too? Man, if I didn’t have to go to bed now to rest for travel tomorrow I would want to hear your story.”

“It’s a really sad story, anyway. You wouldn’t want to hear it, my life has been shit many times.”

He squeezed her hand then pulled his hand away. “Get some sleep, sweetheart. Tomorrow I leave for work, and you start your work. I will be back in about a week with another caravan. I will check on you.” He stood up, and leaned over her, his face really close. “Anyone lays a finger on you, give me a name and I will take care of it.” He cupped her cheek and like usual, she flinched away. He pulled his hand back. “Be safe, sweetheart.”

Princess went into her room and stripped down, crawling into bed. She thought of Kyle, and how he helped her, how he touched her, and Mac’s face was there instead of his. 

Princess began working as a bar back for the saloon. It was rough work, mostly cleaning and taking drink orders, running food and drink from the bar to customers. She worked hard, doing her best to please her tough boss. He paid her well enough, and kicked out the men who tried to grab at her. Kyle came through every couple of weeks or so, whenever he did he would have dinner with her. She never talked about much with him, just stayed quiet. 

Then he just stopped coming. A few months went by with no appearance from him, and Princess started to worry. Princess told herself that he probably just found a sweet girl to settle down with and forgot about her, which was best. A young girl who hadn’t spent her childhood being beaten and molested by grown men, a real woman he could spend his time with. 

One day, a caravan came through the town that Kyle usually traveled with. Princess took their food order and the leader of the guard looked at her with sadness. “I’m real sorry for your loss,” he said. 

“What are you talking about?”

“Kyle.”

“Oh. I assumed he just found a nice woman to settle down with and forgot about me.”

The caravan guard lifted his brow. “He wanted to do that with you, was working his ass off to get the caps together to buy a homestead. All he talked about was you.”

Princess blushed bright red, then the words sunk in. “What happened?”

“Gunners. Gunners ambushed the caravan.”

“Oh. What can I get you to drink?” The pain in her chest hurt so much but she swallowed the tears as usual.

He looked at her knowingly. “Just a round of the house whiskey.”

“You got it, I’ll be back with your order.”

Princess felt a sudden need to run, to leave, but she couldn’t. She had no one else, Kyle was her only lifeline. Mac never showed up. Was Mac ambushed by gunners when he was working? Her mind was swimming. Kyle was working to be able to take care of her, she had no idea he felt that way. If he hadn’t been working, he would still be alive. He was dead because of her, it was all her fault. 

She numbed herself, and continued to work. 

A few days later, a man came into the saloon. Real clean cut, not drifter material. Princess took his drink order and ignored how he watched her. He was polite, and made small talk with her. At the end of the evening, he pulled her over and asked her to sit at the table. 

“So, how do you feel about having a job that makes you more caps in a week than you do in a year?”

Princess chuckled. “I’d say you are lying to me.”

“No, gorgeous. I have been watching you, you are something. Look, I don’t know what you got here, but if you ain’t married or got a man, you can come with me.” Princess blushed at this and he laughed. “No, don’t worry. Not gonna do anything with you myself, I am a married man. Look, I ain’t from the Wasteland, I am from the Commonwealth. It ain’t too far from here, couple of days travel. I own a business, kinda like a bar. You can come work for me. You will make a ton of caps and be safe, and you ain’t gotta do anything you don’t want to.”

“Well, what do I gotta do?”

He put a hand over hers. “Just be nice to the gentlemen, they will be nice to you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These two emotionally inept friends find each other again, Mac isn't a fan of her line of work. They make their way to the Commonwealth. (gets real non-canon at this point.). Also, the "*" notes a flashback.

1 YEAR LATER

Macready was exhausted as he stumbled into the shanty town on the edge of the Capital Wasteland, more inside of the Commonwealth than the former. Having been going for days, he was grateful to find what appeared to be some kind of bar and inn. He stepped inside and took a breather, it was lively and there was music playing as people moved around. Finding a couch with no one else on it, he waved at the bartender who gave him a nod, then he sat down, unloading his pack and duster. A hot meal, some cold drinks, and a warm bed was what he was waiting for. Leaning his head back against the chair, he heard the sound of clicking heels on the floor approaching closer. He didn’t open his eyes, but a familiar voice said, “Why, hello, Mungo. What’re you doing around here?”

He cocked an eyebrow. He hadn’t heard that word in a long time. Opening his eyes, he looked at the woman before him and boy, was this a woman. Shorter in height but curvy, wearing one of those fancy pre-war dresses that was red and clung to her body, a slit up to her hip. He finally looked up to her face and his jaw dropped. “Princess!” He leaned forward in his chair. 

She gave him one of those sweet smiles. “Heya, Mayor. How are you doing?” Her hand on her hip, her smile almost appeared cocky. His Princess had really grown up. 

“I’m alright, you know, typical wasteland shit. Man, how the fuck have you been?”

She blushed and looked down at the floor, a look Macready didn’t like. He knew that look. She was embarrassed about something. As soon as he saw it, a wall went up and she was guarded. Fuck, he didn’t like that either. “I’m good, you know. So what can I get you to drink?”

“Do you work here?”

“No, Mungo. I like to ask random strangers what they want to drink.”

“First of all I am not a stranger and certainly not random. Also, shut the fuck up, smartass. Oh, and a whiskey. I also need a plate of whatever is hot to eat and I will need a room for the night.” 

She just nodded and left to get his order. He watched her walk away, the hips swaying in the dress, a sway that looked like she was trying to hide it. He watched her talk to the bartender, who waved her off to come back with a plate of food and a glass of booze, then reached into a box for a room key. She turned and walked back, keeping eye contact with him the whole time. Macready felt like time had slowed down, that all that existed in the world was them two. All this time he had tried so hard to find her, to get back to her, when he had finally resigned and gave up here she was, and it was all that mattered. 

She handed him his food and drink, then set the key on the table in front of the couch. “Room is down the hall, last room on the right. It has a bath, water ain’t hot but it is clean.” She shifted her body weight as she watched him. He gave her a cocky smile. “So, really, Princess, how have you-”

Out of nowhere, some fucking guy that looked too much like raider with a scar on his face approached them. He grabbed her by the elbow and Macready almost took out his knife when the guy asked her, “You working tonight?”

Princess looked at the guy, and back at Macready whose brow was quizzically raised. “Well, yes I am. Why don’t you go make yourself more comfortable and I will be right there.”

Macready’s blood ran cold and the man said, “No, I paid for an hour and the clock is ticking. Let’s go.” He started pulling her to the back where the rooms were. 

Princess waved back at Macready. “I will be right back!”

Macready felt sick suddenly. No. Not his Princess. She was better than this. This was his fault. He should have made it back to her. He tried, but he couldn’t find her, and he ran with the gunners a lot and they had him going all over the place. His food untouched, he ordered more drinks and drowned his shame, trying to not think of that fucking raider back there touching her. Macready shook his head, torn with himself. He had no right to be possessive, she was not his. But, wasn’t she his? The time they shared together? Fuck, he wanted her back. 

He was lost in his thoughts when he felt the couch dip beside him, and he looked over to see her bright hazel eyes looking at him. She gave him that goddamn smile. “So, tell me what you have been doing. I bet you have had so many adventures!”

“I tried to come back for you. I couldn’t find you. And my work had me going all over the place. I have been trying to make money to buy us a home so you wouldn’t have to be a fucking drifter. I looked everywhere for you.”

“It’s okay, Mac. I have been okay.”

“This is okay? This is your version of okay?” He was feeling anger rise up, but it wasn’t at her. He looked around the bar, and already saw other men looking at her. Fuck that. He wasn’t going to let them interrupt his time with her. He stepped up to the bar. “How much for a full night with her?”

The bartender didn’t even look up. “Two hundred caps.”

“Done.” He slapped the caps on the bar. He went back over to her, and held out his hand to her. “You are all mine for tonight. Look, I am exhausted and need to rest. But I also want to spend time with you. I ain’t trying to fucking do nothing, but just spend some time with you. Alright?”

She just nodded, taking his hand and letting him pull her up. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey he had bought, after paying by the glass got annoying, and let her lead them to his room. He stepped inside, through his things down in a chair and taking a deep sigh. He turned to her, and she was already pulling the straps down on her dress to pull it off. “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” He grabbed the straps, putting them back on her shoulders. “You ain’t gotta do that, alright? I mean, I can give you something comfortable to sleep in but that’s it. I don’t want nothing else.”

She just stared for a moment, her eyes hurt. Then, guarded. Why would that hurt her? Fucking hell, he was lost. He pulled out a large t-shirt for her to put on, and some comfortable clothes for himself. He went to the bathroom and went to clean himself with a rag, when she stood in the doorway wearing nothing but her underwear and that t shirt. Fuck, maybe she should put the dress back on. 

“Why don’t you take a bath? Make you feel better.” Without him responding she started to draw the bath, bending over in front of him. The rushing water covered his groan. She turned back to him, motioning him to get undressed, turning her back to let him do so. He sighed, having no idea what her game was on this but fuck if it didn’t stir something in him. 

He got into the tub, and the lukewarm water actually felt nice. She sat on a stool next to him, and leaned into the water with a washcloth, rubbing his legs and feet. “Hey, you ain’t gotta do that.”

“I want to.”

“Why, cause it is part of the service?” He didn’t mean that to sound as cold as it did.

Her hands froze under the water, then started washing his arms. “I ain’t never washed a man in a tub, Macready. Ain’t never done something like this with anyone. This is just… Me and you. I know you don’t want me or anything but, I just wanna do something nice for you. Plus you look dead on your feet. After this you will pass out hard, get some deep sleep.”

Macready sat up in the bath, closer to her. Fuck, she thought he didn’t want her? Just because he wasn’t gonna fuck her tonight? This was a conversation he was entirely too tired to have. It would have to wait. He was already making a plan in his head. He had a lot of caps saved up, caps he had been planning to use to make a homestead if he ever found her. He stuck to his word, he wanted to care for her. But all he said was, “Is there a towel?”

Her face fell more. “Yeah, here.” She handed it to him and turned her back, leaving the room. He toweled off and put on clothes and fuck if she hadn’t been right, he felt much better. She was sitting on the edge of the bed as he walked in, towel drying his hair. He was already feeling himself crashing. She looked at him and said, “Come to bed. You are falling asleep in front of me.”

He laid on the bed and she laid beside him. This was normal, the kids in Little Lamplight slept together a lot, for warmth and sometimes comfort. This was just like old times. Luckily he was too tired to get hard, but all he wanted to do was hold her and bury his face in her hair as he drifted to sleep. Instead, he passed out before he could even lift his arms. 

At some point in the night, he woke up to an arm around his waist and a warm breath on his neck. It took him a minute to realize who it was. He shifted, laying on his back. Princess whimpered in her sleep, not even waking up. Smiling, he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her to his chest, and she snuggled against him. Fuck she was always such a deep sleeper. He hoped she wouldn’t be mad when she woke up but right now he just enjoyed having her so close. He let himself drift off again, and hoped she would be just as close to him when he woke up. 

Princess woke up as dawn was breaking, and realized she was snuggling Macready. Shit. She jumped back, embarrassed. She didn’t mean to do that, but realized his arm was also around her. He probably was asleep and wasn’t thinking, thinking she was someone else. She quietly got up and began moving around in the room. She heard a shifting from the bed. 

“Morning, Princess,” he said sleepily. Good, he woke up before he found out that she was so close to him in sleep. 

“Morning,” she gave him a bright smile. “I am going to go get dressed, meet me in the front and I will get us some breakfast and coffee.”

He looked like he wanted to argue, but closed his mouth. He probably didn’t want to spend more time with her but she was going to take what she could get. She left the room before he could fully sit up, taking her dress and heels back to her own tiny room. She found some jeans and a tank top, one that showed off her curves, and some boots. She ran a brush through her hair and looked in the mirror. Fuck, he didn’t want her, said so himself. Why she was even trying was beyond her. She knew she wasn’t much to look at, chubbier than many other women in the Wasteland. And her profession was a real turn off, he wouldn’t want to be with a woman who sold her body. 

Nevertheless, she left the room and made her way to the front. Johnny was already there again, getting stuff ready for the customers to come out for breakfast. She helped him make food and coffee, and she saw when Macready came out and took a seat on the same couch. He brought over a plate and two cups of coffee. “Mind if I sit with you?”

He looked at her confused. “Of course not. Aren’t you going to eat?”  
“Oh, I don’t eat in the mornings.” Truth was, her stomach was doing somersaults. He would be leaving soon, out of her life. Maybe he would come back to see her, maybe pay for a night again so she could sneak some snuggles as she cried about him not wanting her. Tears welled up in her eyes.

“Oh, Princess. What’s wrong?”

“Hmm? Oh, nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me. I know you.”

“Just, you know. Thinking of Little Lamplight and how things used to be. How we used to be,” she said quietly, sipping her coffee. 

“Hmm,” was all he said, eating his breakfast and sipping his own coffee. She wanted to kick herself. Of course he didn’t give a shit about that. They sat quietly for a while, she had no idea what to say.

She had a feeling she was wearing out her welcome, so she silently got up and started walking around the room, taking orders from the few customers who got up for breakfast and cleaning the room since she didn’t get a chance to do so the night before. She got her stuff ready to start cleaning the hotel rooms when Macready suddenly got up and approached Johnny at the bar. She hung close by, but a customer at a table was trying to talk to her, his hand on her hip. He was trying to pay for some time with her but he didn’t have many caps. Princess strained to hear what Macready was talking about a few feet away. 

“How much for her contract?” He ordered to Johnny. Princess turned red. 

Johnny just stammered. “She is expensive, does a lot of work and makes me a lot of caps.”

“She ain’t the only girl you got working here, and I know she has a contract. How much for it?”

“She is valuable, she helps keep this place running.”

“I got it, she is expensive. How much?”

Johnny just thought for some time, and she could feel her heart pounding in her throat. The man with his hand on her hip pulled her close to him, his face almost against her stomach. She shouldn’t have worn this low cut tank top but she wore it for Macready, no one else. Suddenly she heard Johnny say, “Four thousand caps.”

Macready just laughed. “Come on, old man. Be realistic. I can give you three thousand right now.”

Johnny shook his head. “Three thousand, five hundred. No less.”

Macready just turned to look at her, and saw the man with his hands on her. He turned red and his hand shook. “Fine, I will get it to you from my room. Now tell that man to get his hands off my property.”

Princess knew he was just keeping up with the idea of buying her contract for business, but when he said that she felt a mix of shame and arousal. If she was anyone’s property, she would be okay with being owned by him. Johnny just sighed. “Hey! Hands off! She don’t work here no more. You, girl! Go get your shit, leave anything we gave you. That includes clothes and shoes.”

Macready went off to his room to get his pack and the caps, and Princess went to her room to get her things. She didn’t have much, most of what she had was given to her by them. Some of her finer dresses and heels were her own, but those were not practical. She did take one dress, a black one that was practically lingerie, and one pair of really tall heels, just in case she had to work again like she did here. She took off her boots, as they were not hers and realized she had no shoes. She opened her box of caps, there were almost none in there, Johnny made her pay for room and board. Shit. She put what she had in her pack, which was just another pair of shorts and a small t-shirt. Looking at her fancy dresses, she realized she could probably sell them. So she decided to pack them, too. She strapped her shotgun to her back. 

Stepping out front, Macready was by the door, putting paperwork that she assumed was her contract safely in his coat pocket, and walked out the door. She followed without saying goodbye to anyone. This place had not been kind to her. Johnny did not take very good care of her, not like the old boss who wouldn't let men get rough with her and didn’t make her pay rent. Macready walked fast and she had to practically run to keep up. They got out of town and he left out a deep breath like he had been holding it the whole time, then turned back to look at her. 

He smiled for a moment, then looked her up and down. She shivered in the cold dawn of the morning, and rubbed her arms. “Where are your clothes? And fucking shoes?”

“They weren’t mine. Johnny wasn’t a good man to me. This is all I got, plus my trusty shotgun. I got another shirt and some shorts. I only brought one of my dresses in case I gotta work again, and-”

“Hey!” He snapped, making her jump. “You ain’t never doing that again, you understand?”

She just nodded. It was a nice thought but she was more realistic. “I brought other dresses to sell. I will try to sell them when we get to a town and buy some shoes. And other things that I will need.”

“You ain’t gotta sell your shit off, alright?”

“These dresses aren’t very practical. So where are you taking me?”  
“There is a town in the Commonwealth that I hang about in and get work in. I do merc shit now, it is good money and with my sniper rifle, I can do it safely. I get a lot of work there and it is safe.”

“Where am I going?” Princess asked, shifting her cold feet in the dirt. 

“With me? Where did you think you were going?”

“Since you don’t want me to work, I assumed you were going to drop me somewhere.” She said, as they started walking again. 

“So you can go back to doing this shit? No. I lost you before, I am not losing you again,” he said. She pretended it was more romantic than it was, she knew he just meant as a friend. 

They walked all morning, and came across a small settlement. They didn’t hang around for long, but Princess was able to trade one of her simpler dresses to a woman for some shoes and a pair of socks. She gladly put them on, sighing as her feet began to warm. They ate a quick lunch, then began walking again. 

“If we can keep this pace, we will get there by tomorrow evening.” Macready said as they started the hard walk again. 

They walked in silence, and Macready looked back at her. “When you gonna tell me your real name? Even your contract says Princess.”

“When you gonna tell me yours?”

“Macready is my real name, just my surname. I don’t know that much about you.”

Princess said nothing, just kept walking. Why she was so unsure of stating her real name, she wasn’t sure. Almost like, if he knew her real name, then what they had would be worth even less. Which was silly but she didn’t know why. 

“Robert Joseph. People call me RJ,” he said. “Now, you.”

She shook her head. “Why ruin it? I don’t wanna ruin what little I have with you now, I am scared it will take away the almost nothing I have with you,” she almost clapped a hand over her mouth. 

“What do you mean, what little you have with me? Don’t you understand what we have?” He questioned her. 

She just shook her head. “We are friends, I know.”

He just gave her a hmph, and they walked the rest of the afternoon in silence. They were moving fast, almost running, the entire time and she was exhausted by the time the sun was setting. 

“We need to find a place to make camp,” he said, looking around. Up ahead he saw a shack that looked abandoned. They approached it with relief. She set to making a campfire and he checked for defenses and to set up some of his own. By the time he was done, he had dinner ready. He began to eat and realized she was just nibbling. “You haven’t eaten much today.”

“I don’t eat that much.”

“Ha, right. A woman doesn’t get to looking like you by not eating,” he joked. Princess blushed a bright red, feeling the heat to her cheeks. “Hey, I didn’t mean that to be mean, I was just kid-”

Princess brushed him off. “It’s fine. I am gonna get cleaned up and ready for bed.” She stood up, giving him the rest of her food. That was humiliating, he would never fucking want her. 

As she went to walk past him, he grabbed her hand, pulling her to him. “It wasn’t an insult. Really, you look-”

“I swear if you say I look okay or fine I am gonna be irritated. It’s okay, I don’t care. I am going to get cleaned up,” she jerked her hand away from his, grabbing her can of water. She went into the shack, and drank some of the water then put the rest on a rag. Undressing, she ran the clothes over her limbs and between her legs. Rubbing the cloth on her thighs, she tried to not think of the jiggling fat there the bumps of cellulite. Fuck, he would never want a woman like her. He was tough, all lean muscle and strong. He would want a woman like him, lean and wiry and skinny. 

She knew she wasn’t fat, fat people didn’t exist except the few rich. But she was soft and more parts of her jiggle than not. She put the jean shorts and t-shirt on, clean clothes for tomorrow, letting her clothes from today dry out from all the sweat. She grabbed her bedroll, and carried it to the campfire. It was a lovely night out and she wanted to sleep under the stars. 

She rolled her bedroll out a few feet from Macready and sat on it. He turned to her. “I didn’t-”

“Let it go. I’m over it.”

“You don’t seem over it.”

“I’m going to sleep. Are you going to sleep?”

“Not yet. I’ll keep watch for now. I’m gonna have to wake you for watch so I can get some sleep.”

Princess hadn’t thought of that. “Should we sleep inside, then?”

He shook his head. “The floorboards in there are disgusting and have bugs in them. This is better. Go to sleep, it will be fine.”

She wanted to argue but her exhaustion took over. The next night out she would take first watch. She crawled into her sleeping bag and laid on her side, back to the fire, and did her best to not think of the man who was so close yet so far. She wondered if she would ever get the chance to sneak a cuddle in again. 

Macready cussed under his breath once she fell asleep, which was as soon as she was in her bag. Fuck, he wanted to be next to her again, to hold her and smell her hair that somehow smelled like hubflower. He couldn’t believe he had made the comment about her body. It wasn’t an insult, he loved how she looked. He thought of her legs and hips, and what it would be like to squeeze handfuls of them, pressing his fingertips into the skin. Fuck, his cock was beginning to harden at the thought of those thighs wrapped around his waist. 

No, none of that. She didn’t need him to be like that with her. They had just met again after being apart for so long. Sure, at Lamplight, they shared some moments together. He had been sure she wanted to be his. Stolen kisses and hand holding. But he had been gone and so much had happened, she could have changed her mind by now. He would get her to Goodneighbor, get her set up and safe. He wanted her safe. His mind went back to Lamplight, at a time a few months before he had left. Princess was popular among the older boys but she only paid attention to Macready. He remembered the night he nearly killed another kid who was just a month older than him:

*Macready had been organizing some of the goods from traders with Knick Knack, and going through scavenged goods for parts. Knick Knack left to talk to another trader and he went back to the caverns where they all slept to find someone to help him carry parts, when he had heard a whimper. Looking around, he found Princess on the floor, sitting curled up in a ball. He knelt down before her, put a hand on her shoulder and she jumped. “Hey, now. What’s wrong?”

She didn’t look up, just shook her head as her arms covered her face. He grabbed her wrists, and she refused to move her arms. He pulled harder, and got her to move her arms to the side and he got a good look at her face, and rage filled him to a boiling point. The left side of her face was swollen and bruised, with a big lump under her eye. Either a really hard punch, a pistol whip, or her face got slammed into something hard like the floor. Any of the options got him seeing red.   
She had seen the look on his face and cowered, and he controlled himself. “Ain’t mad at you, Princess. Tell me what happened.”

“It ain’t a big deal,” she whispered. “I don’t wanna cause trouble.”

He leaned forward, holding onto her wrists but rubbing his thumbs there. “You haven’t caused any fucking trouble. Someone else did when they put their damn hands on you. Tell me who.”

A single tear fell down her cheek. He was pissed, but wanted to pull her to him and press kisses to her until she was better, but this wasn’t the time or place. They weren’t exclusive, but it was common knowledge that Princess was his, and untouchable.”I ain’t leaving you the fuck alone until you tell me who.”

She shuddered and looked up at him. “It isn’t a big deal, alright? He was being nice to me and I just felt weird about it. I should have told him no, told him to go the fuck away from the beginning. But he kinda scared me, and I didn’t want to worry you. I was folding clean laundry when he came up to me from behind, putting his arms around my waist. For a minute I thought it was you and-” she blushed, and stuttered, “I didn’t push him off but then it took a second for me to know it was someone else. I pushed his hands away and he got real mad. He called me a slut, saying I had to give it up to any man who came along. He held me down and he… tried to get my clothes off.” 

Macready was ready to kill someone. “Then I was able to grab my knife, and I sliced his hand. He grabbed me by my hair and slammed my face in the ground. I was unconscious for a while.”

“Who. The. Fuck. Was. It,” He demanded, his voice stone quiet. Rage wasn’t even the beginning of what he felt. 

“That new kid that came recently, Conor.” 

Macready immediately stood up. “Go get looked at by the doc. I’ll be by to check on you soon.” 

She grabbed his arm, unsteady on her feet as she stood. He put an arm around her waist to steady her, taking a moment to enjoy her body against his. She was begging him not to go, to let it be. Just kick the kid out. Don’t hurt anyone. 

“Princess, and why shouldn’t I? I should fucking kill him for touching you.”

“I’m not worth the trouble,” she cried. 

He grabbed her and held her to him again, looking down at her. “Don’t you ever tell me some shit like that again, you understand me?”

She just nodded, and he watched her slowly make her way to the medic.   
He hadn’t killed the kid, but he came close. Once he got hold of him, he just sat on his chest pounding his fists into the kid over and over. He stood up, and picked the kid up, having to drag him most of the way to the entrance, and kicked him out into the night. He turned on his heel and went straight to find her. She was sitting on a gurney, a stimpack in her face taking the swelling down already. He walked up to her, just standing inches from her. “Hey, Princess.”

She looked down at his hands, the cracked and bloody knuckles already swelling. She held his hands in hers, rubbing her thumb across the bloody marks. “You need a stimpack.”

“I’ll be fine,” his voice hoarse. She just looked up at him, and he reached a hand to cup her cheek. The flinch was small. She brought a hand up over his and they just sat there like that for a minute, looking into each other’s eyes. Finally he got the courage. Leaning down, he pressed his lips against hers. Only for a few seconds, and nothing more. It wasn’t their first kiss, but every time he got all nervous. It was never more than a brush of lips, sometimes a gentle press. 

He leaned back to look at her again. “Let’s get you to bed.”*

Macready was brought out of his thoughts by Princess rustling in her sleeping bag, stirring in a dream. He waited, and then he heard the crying. Moving to sit by her, he ran his hand over her hair, talking gently to her. Eventually she stopped and leaned into his touch. It took all of his willpower to not just crawl in that bag with her, to open it up and make her lay on his chest again. This wasn’t the time or place for that. She was trying to keep him at a distance, he knew that. He could tell. But he also knew that she was his, was always his, and he would keep her as long as he could. 

Macready had fallen asleep sitting up when Princess woke up. She put a hand on his shoulder and shook, and his reflex was to grab her wrist and pull her down, towards his lap. Her yelp pulled him back. “Shit! Sorry, so used to-” 

She just shook her head. “You didn’t wake me for watch.”

“It was quiet out last night, I was able to nap.”

“You need to get some actual sleep,” she argued. 

“I will in Goodneighbor, which we will be at tonight. I will get us a room, we are going to have to share one since I spent almost all of my caps on your contract,” he said. He could actually spare enough for two rooms, but he wanted her with him.

They ate some food, got ready for the walk and packed up their things. Setting on the road, Macready kept the same pace from the day before. They were silent as they moved fast. He could have taken their time but he wanted to get there, wanted to have her in a room with him, safe and comfortable, laying next to him in a bed while she made those cute little sighs in her sleep. He cursed himself again, quit thinking of that shit. 

The rest of the way was uneventful. Few bugs here and there, a molerat or two. They made it to Goodneighbor, Macready saying hi to the guards at the gate as they were let in. Inside, he saw Mayor Hancock walking over, already eyeing Princess up and down. Nope, not gonna fucking happen, Hancock. 

The ghoul stood up straight as he introduced himself to Princess, and she was polite in her response. Macready told him that they were back now, and that they were getting a room for the night and looking for work tomorrow, so keep an eye out. He made a beeline for the vendor Daisy, the ghoul who kept shop. She was a nice lady, and he could get some things Princess needed from her. 

“Hey Daisy. This is my friend, Princess. Princess, Daisy. We need some supplies. Food, things like that. Princess needs some clothes, too.”

Princess looked at Daisy. “I got a few dresses I can sell if you can take them.” She started pulling out the fancy dresses she worked in, and Daisy whistled. 

“Magnolia is gonna love these. I will take the lot. What are you looking for?”

“I need some practical clothes, and soap if you got it.” Princess was looking through the vendor’s things. “I will take this food, and this bottle of booze.” Shoving everything in her pack, Daisy gave her the caps left over from the transaction, and Macready led her over to the hotel. 

They got inside and Macready got his usual room, and they headed upstairs. Once inside, they both dropped their packs in exhaustion. Princess went into the bathroom with the soap and was getting cleaned up to put on clean clothes. “You know you didn’t have to sell those dresses, you could keep them.”

“I have no reason to keep them,” she said through the door. 

“Hey, maybe one day you will wanna be all pretty again,” he said with a smile, meaning to be a joke. 

She opened the door of the bathroom, once again only wearing a large t-shirt to sleep in. She was blushing. “I know, it takes fancy dresses and heels for me to like a little pretty, but I don’t want to have anything tied to that life.”

Macready stuttered. “That’s not what I meant, you know. You are always beautiful, even when you are covered in sweat and dirt.” He said it without thinking but fuck if it wasn’t the truth. 

She just blushed and crawled into bed, laying on her back. Macready got cleaned up and did the same himself, laying beside her. He lit up a cigarette and offered her one, and they laid in bed smoking. “So, what do I do now?”

He ashed his smoke in the ashtray. “Well, tomorrow I hang out at the bar, the Third Rail, and wait for work. People find me there as a gun for hire. You can come with me on jobs, or stay. If you come with, I can take bigger jobs that I don’t take when it is just me because it can be dangerous. Or, you just sit here and look pretty.”

“I’m not very good at the last one.”

“Hush with that.” He put his cigarette out. “Just think about it, alright? Let’s get some rest.” He lifted his arms over his head on the pillow and closed his eyes, almost like an invitation for her to come closer, to lay on him again. But she didn’t. She turned her back to him, curling into the bed to get warm. Her butt was on his hip, and that was enough of a touch to send him off. Fuck, the effect she had on him. He listened to her breathing until it was quiet and deep, so he knew she was asleep, and put a hand over on her hip. He wanted her to come to him again so bad, but she was still pushing him away, and he worried she would get worse about it. Thinking of the night when he got to hold her body close, he drifted off to sleep himself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac gets some work, Princess tried to help out. This chapter and the next were written as one but ended up being too long so i split it. Again, * means a flashback. In this chapter, a song called You Really Got A Hold On Me is mentioned. This song is an amazing song by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles, I own none of it. I recommend everyone to hear this amazing ass song cause it is always a go to on my playlist. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRd-bjFfjNc&ab_channel=TheMiracles-Topic

Princess woke up close to him again. She wasn’t on his chest, but curled into his side with her arm over his stomach. His hand was down and on her shoulders, still asleep. She shifted, trying to quietly get up without waking him, to make sure he didn’t know this accidentally happened again. She was trying to sit up and move away when the arm around her shoulder tightened, and held her close. She tried to fight it when Macready just mumbled, “just stay a few minutes longer.”

Shit, he was still asleep, but his grip on her was tight. She wasn’t going anywhere without risking waking him up. As she struggled with this, his other arm came over and held her closer still, hand on her back. Her skin was flushed and she was bright red. She couldn’t risk moving without waking him, so she just laid still waiting for his grip to loosen. She also enjoyed the moment, being close to him, pretending to be something more. After some time where she almost drifted off again, she felt Macready stretch his muscles without moving his arms off her, and a soft groan left his mouth. “Good mornin’,” he said, still not moving. 

“Oh, you are awake. Good morning.”

His eyes were still sleepy, and she felt some disappointment when he pulled off of her, slowly getting out of the bed. He sat on the edge of it, and Princess knelt behind him. “Well? What now?”

“Let’s wake up, get dressed. Eat some food, then head over to the Rail. We ain’t in a rush or nothing.”

She nodded and stood, gathering the food and coffee together. He was still groggy on the bed, watching her, as she heated up some breakfast and made them coffee. She set a plate for him on the table with a cup. “Here you go.”

She sipped her coffee as she picked up around the room, cleaning off his pack and brushing off his boots, getting everything straightened up. Suddenly, he was behind her. “Are you going to eat?”

“I don’t eat in the morning.”

“Then why did you make food?”

“You said you wanted to eat. I was just doing it for you.”

He grabbed her wrist. “Let’s get this straight. Yes, I have your contract. For right now it is just a piece of paper I use to protect you, especially if an old employer tries to take you away. You are not my slave, you are not my servant. You got it?”

She just nodded. She wanted to ask what his plans were for her long term but she was scared to ask, because she knew the answer. As soon as she was on her feet he would send her to take care of herself. He was just giving her a helping hand for now. She turned and started to unpack her things, keeping some stuff in the room so her pack was lighter when she needed it. The day was already getting warm, so she grabbed her cutoff shorts and a tank top, and went into the bathroom to piss and change. She came out and took her cup, sitting on the edge of the bed and finishing her coffee. 

Macready was watching her. “Come sit with me.”

She shrugged and did as he asked. He finally started to eat, then finished his coffee. They both had a smoke together, and he went into the bathroom to get dressed. When he came out, He sat again with her. “What if there aren’t any jobs for you?” she asked. 

“Happens sometimes, there are dry periods. I always make it through.”

“I can make you a lot of money, you know. I saved one of my dresses, I can-”

His fist pounded on the table. “No! I am not telling you again. I swear, as much as you insist about it I would think that you actually like doing that.”

“No, I hate it. I hate sex.” She confessed in a whisper. 

“You just have never had good sex,” he said, trying to sound as joking about it as possible.

“What’s there to it. The man just gets on top and does his thing. Moves me around. Some men are into hurting and pain. None of it is good,” she said, looking down at her fingernails. 

Macready said nothing. She wondered what he was thinking. He has probably been with a lot of women in his travels, beautiful women who liked him cause he was dangerous and handsome. She reminded herself to keep her distance. This was never going to be anything more. They sat for a bit more, drinking coffee and smoking, then they put on shoes and headed to the Rail.

Princess was nervous but Macready introduced her to everyone, his hand on her waist. He was doing that for her sake, she knew. Princess realized there were a lot of ghouls in this town. Ghouls didn’t bother her, they were just people who got too much radiation. It could happen to anyone, they were still people inside. There was no sign of that Mayor. She had noticed how he looked at her. He was attracted to her, but for the first time it didn’t make her uncomfortable. She had a feeling he was a good guy.

They sat in a backroom, Macready in a chair and her on a couch, waiting. People came and went, but no jobs. As the day went on, Macready was looking more and more nervous. He was obviously worried about caps. He wouldn’t let her make money her way, so she decided to help how she could, which was by not using his caps or resources at all. She didn’t want to put any pressure on him. 

By evening, he sighed. “I usually stay pretty late here, too. Want some food?”

She shook her head. The caps she had could go to their hotel room for a while. “I’m not hungry.”

“You haven’t eaten yet today,” he pointed out. 

“Yeah, I think I am just nervous about being in a new place. Don’t waste the caps on me, I am not hungry,” she gave him a smile. 

He cocked an eyebrow at her. “Want a drink?”

“I have a bottle in the room, don’t worry about it.”

“We are going to make caps, don’t worry about it. A job doesn’t come everyday.”

“Really, I am fine. Don’t waste it on me.”  
He just sighed, resigned, and walked away. She sat on the couch when that Mayor Hancock came into the room. “Well, aren’t you a breath of fresh air. Heya, Sunshine.”

She smiled. “Hello, Mayor. How are you this evening?” 

He held a drink in his hand. “Just fine and all. So, you and Macready, huh?”

She waved a hand. “He is just my employer.”

“Is that so?” He had a smile on his face. “Well, a proper employer wouldn’t let his employee sit here without a drink. Let me bring you something.”

“Oh, no! That’s fine, I don’t want to spend the-”

“Doll, I own this bar. I am bringing you something.” He came back a moment later, a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. He poured a drink for both of them, then held his glass up to a toast. “To new friends.” She smiled and toasted his glass, and threw back the drink in two gulps. “Well, what do you know, Sunshine can drink.”

Macready walked in just as she was giggling. He looked at them on the couch, so close their legs were almost touching. Hancock gave Macready a look, and Macready’s face was stone. “Hello, Hancock. What’s up?”

“Just saying hello to your, what did you say you were, Sunshine? Oh yes, your employee,” Hancock smiled at Macready, whose lips were a thin line. Princess could see his jaw clenching. What she said was true, he owned her contract and she was here to work with him. Hancock just gave her a sly smile, and poured her another drink. Princess took it gladly, the booze filling her empty stomach. Luckily years of drinking in Lamplight meant she could handle her booze. 

She watched Macready move stiffly back to his chair, eyes never leaving her. Something about his look had her sitting up straighter. Hancock just gave a small chuckle. “So, sunshine, what do you plan on doing in my little town?”

She finally let her eyes leave Macready. “Oh, well, find some work with Macready, get set up. Start having a life of my own again.” She smiled into the glass as Hancock offered her another pour. This was number three, after this she would need to pace it better. “Since I left Lamplight, I haven’t been able to really do what I want, you know? Which I think is the opposite of what most people have. Other people, they do what they are told as children then as adults they can be free. Not me. No, as a child I was free to do what I wanted. The past year or so, not so much. But now I can.”

Hancock’s smile was genuine. “And just what do you want to do with that freedom?”

Her smile faltered. “Shit, I don’t know.”  
“What do you like to do?” Hancock shifted his body and he faced her more. Macready was watching her like a hawk. 

She stared for a moment, glanced over at Macready, then down at her lap. “I don’t know.”

“Well, do you have anything you love, anything you are passionate about?” 

She tried to keep herself from looking at Macready. What did she like to do? Was she even good at anything? “Well, I can shoot well, not a sniper like Macready but I never miss. I used to hunt for food for the kids, especially when traders were few and far between. I really like reading, a lot. I taught the kids at Lamplight to read.”

“Is that so?” Hancock said as he put an inhaler of jet to his lips, offering it to her. She took it and took a small hit.

Macready spoke up. “Yeah, I wouldn’t know how to read or write without her. She is a good teacher, even at a young age it came naturally to her.” Princess blushed, and Macready went on. “She is also a good singer.”

“Macready!” Princess gasped. 

“What? You think I wouldn’t remember? You love music, you begged me to buy you that jukebox from that trader and you fucking annoyed me until I gave in, and you spent weeks tinkering with it until it worked. All of your free time you were in front of it, crooning along to the music. Plus all the times you thought you were alone, and I heard you sing. Magnolia is the singer in this bar, she is amazing, but you are just as good yourself.”

“Don’t let Magnolia hear that,” Hancock said with a wink. As if on cue, Magnolia’s voice came over the air in waves, singing some old blues song. Princess was humming along, her eyes closed. She let her mind wander back to the caverns.

*It was a couple of months before Macready left. Princess had found some more records for the jukebox, and found an old album from a group called The Miracles, and she had been listening to it non-stop. Macready was in the room with her, sitting at a table and stressing about something like he always was. The song ‘You Really Got A Hold On Me’ started playing and she got excited, it being her current favorite song. She looked back at Macready, he hadn’t even lifted his head. He was so deep in thought he wouldn’t notice her. She started singing along as she stood in front of the jukebox, her hips swaying to the music. “I don’t like you, but I need you. Seems that I’m always, thinking of you. Oooooh you treat me badly, I love you madly, You really got a hold on me”.

Still singing along, she started to really get into it, swept away with the music like she always did. She looked back at Macready and he was watching her. No one else was there so she blushed and smiled, moving towards him and dancing along, singing the song as she went. She couldn’t read his face. If anything he would make a joke of it and laugh, and it would distract him from what he was thinking about for a moment. “I don't want you, but I need you, Don't want to kiss you, but I need you. Oh, oh, oh, you do me wrong now, My love is strong now you really got a hold on me”. She took hold of his hands and pulled him up to dance with her as she continued to sing. He wasn’t smiling but he let her pull him up, moving his hands so that they could dance together. His hands went to her waist and hers to his shoulders, and they swayed back and forth to the music. He wasn’t laughing, wasn’t smiling. Maybe this had been a mistake. 

Her voice was less strong as she sang along to the music. He was staring at her solemnly. Their bodies still rocking back and forth, a hair’s breadth from each other, her voice became soft. “I want to leave you, don't want to stay here, Don't want to spend another day here, Oh, oh, oh, I want to split now, I can't Baby, I love you and all I want you to do is just hold me, Hold me, hold me, hold me.”

At that point the music was just repeating “hold me”, and Princess suddenly became embarrassed by her actions. She just meant to distract him with a joke, and he was not amused. She should have just left him alone. On the record player, Smokey Robinson was still repeating “hold me” and she finally looked away, moved her hands to pull away. His hands on her hips gripped tighter, pulling her to him. He leaned down, his nose so close they shared the same breath. He moved his lips forward, holding her to him to give her one of those rare kisses. This time it was a little more, more than just a brush of lips, he pressed his lips to her and moved them across hers. 

After a moment he leaned back. “I fucking like that song.”

“Yeah, it’s my favorite right now.”

“I like it when you sing it.”

She blushed. “It only sounded good cause the music was playing. If it were just me singing it wouldn’t be good.”

One of his hands moved from her hip to the back of her head, holding her neck and keeping her to him. “Princess, I need you to know. I need you to know how I feel. I know we are young and you ain’t gotta fucking know anything right now. But I need you to know that I-”

Princess’s heart was hammering in her chest. Right when he was about to speak, Knick Knack came running in. “Mayor! We got some fucking mungos that are trying to cause shit! Get up here now!”

“Shit!” He looked down at her and gave her a squeeze where his hands were. “I’ll be back.”

“I’m coming with you, you will need another gun.”

“I ain’t risking you with fucking mungos. Stay here, for once do as you are told.”

She was already loading her shotgun. “Fuck off, Macready.” 

He just huffed and they both ran to the front of the cavern, ready to defend their home.*

Princess was snapped out of her daze with Hancock and Macready discussing something to do with gunners. Something about Macready and gunners? “Wait, Macready… Do you work with the gunners?”

“Not really. I did for a bit, for protection and caps, but I’m not really a gunner per se.”

Princess remembered Kyle, and how he was killed by gunners, and she was angry. It was probably some of the booze and everything else she was feeling, so many emotions in every direction and she didn’t know how to handle it out, so she let it come out as anger. “Fuck the gunners.”

“I agree.” Macready scoffed. 

“No. Really. Fuck them. If you have anything to do with them, I am packing my bag and leaving tonight.” Her face was hard. He just glared at her. 

Hancock put his hand over hers, a touch of comfort. “What happened, love?”

She looked down at her hands, one covered by Hancock’s. “When I left little Lamplight, I had nowhere to go. A caravan let me travel with them, and there was a man. I thought he was wanting to, you know, use me at first. But he actually got me set up in a settlement. Not doing what I was doing, just talked to the owner to give me a bed, in exchange I worked the bar and cleaned. He came back every time he traveled through, making sure I was okay. Then he stopped coming. His buddies showed up and said he had been working to buy a homestead, to take me to, to take care of me. He was killed by gunners.”

She couldn’t believe that she told them the whole story. Macready said in barely above a whisper, “Did you want that with him?”

Sipping on her liquid courage, she was able to admit, “Not really with him, but in him I saw you, Macready. He was good to me and he reminded me of you. When I looked at him I saw your face. And I thought, since you never came back to me, I could settle for that.”

At that point Magnolia’s song was over, and their corner was quiet. She didn’t know what to say. “Sorry. I guess drinking on an empty stomach is not such a good idea.”

Hancock cleared his throat. “It is getting really late, Macready. I don’t think any-”  
He was interrupted by a young man, what looked like a farmer or some kind of settler, approaching them. He looked at Macready. “Are you Macready?”

Macready went straight to business mode. “Who’s asking?”

“I need a little help. Got caps, of course. I think it will be easy for you. Can we talk?”

Macready nodded. Hancock took his cue and stepped away. He beckoned for Princess to sit next to him, and the man took a chair by them. “This is my associate. Go ahead, what do you need?”

The man looked really nervous. Princess noticed Hancock had left the bottle, so she poured the man a drink, giving him a soft smile. He looked at her thankfully and downed it. Finally, he said, “I am going to be straight with you about this. There is a neighboring farm to mine. The owners have a son, who since he was a teenager bothered my daughter, who is a couple of years younger than him. She couldn’t go anywhere alone or unarmed cause of this fuck. His parents kept him from doing too much, and then they passed away. Mysteriously. And this teenager, well now he is a man, he…” his voice trailed off. “He.. hurt my daughter. Real bad. Forced himself on her. He has two gunners staying in the house with him, no one can get close enough to kill him. I am good with a shotgun, but I ain’t no fucking sniper. Take out the kid, don’t give a shit about the other two.”

He set a bag of caps on the table, then turned to Princess. “I don’t doubt you can hold your weight in a fight, but I recommend you don’t come. No offense to you, but if you run the chance of getting close to these fucks, well… They aren’t good men.”

She smiled. “I’m used to bad men.”

He shook his head. “Not like this. Nothing like this. My daughter… Look, I don’t have a ton of caps. I gave you a hundred. In a week I can bring you more, I have scavver friends helping me right now. Okay?”

Princess expected him to not take the job. That wasn’t a lot of money, but he surprised her when he stuck his hand out. “Deal. Let’s get the details and I will head out tomorrow.”

The men talked, and after the farmer left Macready turned to him. “Let’s turn in, alright?”

They headed back to their room, and back inside Princess asked, “I am coming with you, right?”

He shook his head. “I think I know who these people are, and if they are who I think they are, you can’t come. Slavers who torture and assault women for their own pleasure. I ain’t risking that. I can take him out from far away on my own.”

“Oh, so you can’t take him out from far away when I am with you?”

“Please, just listen to me.” They were both undressing for bed, drunk enough to not realize they were undressing and changing in front of each other. “There will be other jobs. This one isn’t paying shit, not paying enough for me to risk you.”

She crawled into bed. “If it doesn’t pay shit, then why take it?”

He crawled in next to her and pulled the blanket over them. The night air was chilly and they were both shivering a bit. “Because I wanna take out fucks like that. And it will be a quick job, I will be back tomorrow night, next morning at the latest.”

They were both laying on their backs. “So, what do I do with you gone?”

“Read a book? Enjoy the peace and quiet without me annoying you?”

“You don’t annoy me,” she said softly. 

They laid there in silence for some time, both swimming in emotions and booze. Without thinking, Princess started humming ‘You Really Got A Hold On Me’, the song stuck in her head since she thought of the memory earlier. She sang a few of the words under her breath, her eyes closed. She felt the bed shift beside her and looked over. Macready was laying on his side, head pillowed on his arm, staring at her. “I fucking love that song,” he whispered. 

She hummed a bit more. “Me, too.”

She was surprised when he put an arm over her, pulling her to him. She wanted to fight it, keep him at arm’s length, but instead she curled into his chest and let him hold her, telling herself because it was so cold that night. 

The next morning, just before dawn, Macready woke to get ready for the job. Their limbs were tangled together, bodies pressed against each other and fuck if he didn’t want to move. But, work called him. She was still asleep so he pressed a kiss to her forehead and she sighed in her sleep, curling into him more. He chuckled and untangled their limbs. Going into the bathroom to piss, he got dressed as quietly as he could, getting his pack and rifle ready. 

He wanted to say goodbye to her, but waking her to do so would feel too final, like he wasn’t coming back. So he just wrote her a note, telling her to be safe and he would be back soon, signing it with a heart. He looked back at her one more time and decided to press one more kiss to her forehead, again enjoying her soft sigh in her sleep. He reluctantly left the room and went out to work. 

The walk was long, he didn’t get there until midday. There was a hill just so in the distance, a perfect spot for sniping. He set up his rifle and scope, and laid prone in the grass, and waited. And waited. And waited. Fuck, this guy needed to get up and walk around. It wasn’t until evening when the fucking piece of shit finally popped his head up in a window, talking to someone. He took a breath, and squeezed the trigger. Pink mist. Done. There were more than two people there now, who were now trying to run out the house and find the sniper. Macready controlled his breathing, and took out the moving targets with ease. Waiting for anything else, He noticed there was no more movement so the job was done.

It was getting dark, so he headed to the neighboring house, the one owned by the man that hired him. He paid him so little, maybe he could offer a bed for the night. Macready knocked on the door, and the man opened it a crack, then saw Macready. “I heard gunshots, is it done?”

“It is done, but it is too late for me to walk back.”

“Of course, of course! The misses just made dinner, have a meal. We have a cot you can sleep on.”

Macready stepped into the house, and saw three young girls, one an older teen, sitting on the floor. They brought him a bowl of stew and he ate it greedily, having not eaten the whole day. They sat quietly and the young girls read aloud from some books, and Macready turned into for the night, wanting to be out just before dawn to get back to Princess. 

He did just that, leaving a thank you note for the people who hired him, and set off down the road. The walk back was just as uneventful and he made it to Goodneighbor just before noon. 

He headed straight for the hotel room, but she wasn’t in there. Weird, maybe she was out and about. He went to the Third Rail, nothing. Daisy hadn’t seen her. He started to panic and went back to the hotel room to make sure her things were there, that she hadn’t left. As soon as he stepped in the door she appeared in the hallway, running down to him. “Oh! You are back! When did you get in?”

“Not too long ago, I was looking for you, got worried.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to worry you, sorry about that.”

He noticed she was hiding something behind her back. “What you got there?”

She started to blush again. “Oh, this? I,um,” she brought the bag in front of her. “I just made some caps, is all.”  
Oh, he didn’t like that look. “How did you make caps?” He stepped closer to her and she started back away from him.

“It isn’t a big deal, you know-”

He backed her against the wall. She was still clutching the bag of caps, and he pinned her with an arm on either side against the wall. “What did you do?”

He glared at her. His blood was both running cold and boiling against his skin. She stuck her chin out defiantly. “What does it matter to you, huh? We needed caps, I did my part to make some, just like you did.”

continued next chapter


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yall know me, the slow burn never lasts too long. Smut incoming.

He took the bag of caps from her hands and threw them across the room, then moved his hand to back against the wall. She was breathing heavy, her chest moving with each breath as she returned his glare. He moved his body closer to her. “What does it matter to me, huh? What the fuck did you do? I want you to tell me. I want you look me in teh eye and tell me just what the fuck you did.”

He could see the tears forming in her eyes and he started to feel sick. He couldn’t believe she did this. “I am gone for one fucking night and you do this to me?”

“Do this to you? What the fuck did I do to you?”

The growl formed in Macready’s chest without meaning to. He was angry, sick, jealous, everything. Without thinking, he pressed his body to hers, and her breath hitched. Without moving his hands, he leaned into her and moved his face just a breath away from hers. She looked at him through heavy lidded eyes and fuck, that got to him. “I don’t want you doing that shit.”

“What shit are you talking about?” Her voice was soft and breathy, her lips following his in movement. “What do you think I did?”

He moved one of his hands off the wall, and grabbed her hip in a grip, holding it tight. “What you did before I found you again is beyond my control but now? Now I don’t want another man touching you like this.” He moved against her, his lips barely brushing hers as he spoke. “What did you do for the caps?” 

Her chest was pushing against his with each breath, and her hands reached up and set on his chest. He thought she would push him away but she didn’t. Her eyes were nearly closed, looking at the floor instead of him. “Look at me. What the fuck did you do?”

She took a deep breath, and moved forward to kiss him, and he jerked back just an inch, not wanting to do anything until he heard it from her lips. Suddenly, the hands on his chest pushed him back. Not too hard, but enough for him to take a few steps back. Her chest puffed out. “How fucking dare you?”

“How fucking dare I what?” He was ready to pin her against the wall again, a mixture of anger and arousal coursing through him. 

“I didn’t do what you think I did. Hancock needed some help clearing out some warehouses. I got a lot of loot and he paid me for it. You really thought that I would do that, behind your back? No, Macready. If I were going to do that, I would make sure it was at a time when you would walk in on it.”

That sent a new bubble of rage up in him. The image of him walking into their room, another man on top of her, sent him right back over the edge. “You would fucking do that?”

“No! I’m just pissed the fuck off right now so I am talking shit! For fuck’s sake, give me some goddamn credit. We are friends, and I know you don’t want me going back to that. Fuck, you think I would let you have wasted all those caps buying me to just go behind your back, against your demands?”

His head was spinning at everything she just said. He bought her? Friends? His demands? What the fuck? He took a deep breath and tried to reel in his temper. “Look, you know me alright? I’m hot headed and stubborn. I worry about you, alright? I am so fucking scared that I am going to lose you again. Fuck, when I was looking for you after I knew you left Lamplight, every day I wanted to fucking die when I couldn’t find you. Plus all the work I was doing, it made me travel a lot. I swear, I tried to find you. I needed to find you. And it wasn’t until I had finally decided I wasn’t going to find you, when you walked up to me at that bar.”

He realized that they were both breathing heavy. Both pissed off, both hot headed and stubborn. She hung her head first. “I’m sorry I took a job without your permission.”

A feeling in his chest that was like a knife digging in made his breath catch. “You never have to ask my permission. I mean, if it is something that means you have to leave for a day or whatever, I would appreciate knowing, and I will always tell you what I am doing.” Macready realized he was still within arm’s length of her, and he slowly took a step forward. “Maybe my anger right now isn’t good, but I need you to understand why I was angry.”

She took his hands in hers, surprising him. “You are scared I will go back to turning tricks. Look, I didn’t like doing what I was doing, and you act like I did and I am looking for any reason to go back to it. I’m not. I don’t want to unless I have to. You are scared of losing your friend again.”

He got closer to her again, his body almost nearly against hers. She was looking down at his chest and he took his hands from hers and cupped her face in them, making her look up at him. As he looked down at her all he wanted was for her to understand. Slowly, he moved forward, giving her plenty of time to stop him. He was a breath from her lips and he paused a moment, but all that happened was her breath hitched, and he finally pressed his lips to hers. This time it wasn’t sweet, it wasn’t the gentle kisses they always shared before. No, this one caused a sharp intake of air for both of them as their lips pressed together, moving with each other. He moved his hands from cupping her face to behind her neck, holding her head to him as he moved his lips on hers. Her hands held his t-shirt in her fists. He couldn’t take it anymore. He used his tongue on the seam of her lips, gently and slowly, and her mouth fell open to him. Their tongues moved together in a rhythm as their bodies pressed harder. She pushed her hips against his and a groan escaped his lips, and he pushed her mouth open further to fully dominate as much as he could. 

A soft moan from her lips made him absolutely crazy. He needed her, now. No more of that fucking slow shit. They knew each other since they were kids, been through hell together as they took care of a cavern of orphans. He protected her and watched over her; let her sleep in his bed when she would come in the middle of the night crying because she had a nightmare. Fuck, they knew each other inside and out, why should he torture himself by forcing them to wait for what was inevitable?

And he knew it was inevitable. Everything they had between them, she was his and dammit, he was hers. He moved his hands over her body, skimming along her sides, running over her soft curves. She stopped the kiss first. “Are you sure you want this?”

He kissed her neck, finding her pulse. “Of course. I have always wanted you.”

“But, I am used goods, as they say.”

That made him pause. “No you ain’t, don’t fucking think like that.”

“Come on, be realistic. Does it bother you?”

“Fuck yeah it bothers me, but not because of that. It bothers me you had to get to that point and had no other options. Sure, I don’t like the idea of another man touching you,” the words made him grip her tighter, “but I don’t think less of you for it. I mean, I have been with other women.”

“Oh.”

He smirked. “Jealousy? See? Doesn’t feel good, does it?”

“Have you ever been in a relationship?”

“Do we have to talk about this right now?”

Her face fell again. “I just want to know.”

He sighed and set his forehead against hers. “I’ll be honest. No. No woman ever held a candle to you. Yes, I messed around with other women, especially after not finding you for so long. It was fun, but none of them came to close the woman you are, and I was not going to settle for anything less.”

This time she brought a hand up to his face, cupping his cheek. He smiled down at her and leaned forward for another kiss. This one was hungrier, they both were on edge and had been waiting so long for this. Macready was losing his mind, and finally just grabbed her waist and yanked her up against the wall, wrapping her legs around his waist. “I didn’t think anyone could do that, I’m not small enough,” she squealed, then practically giggled. 

“I am going to need you to shut the fuck up about how you look. You are fucking gorgeous. You turn the heads of every man. You have always been beautiful. I thought you were pretty the first day I saw you when you came into Lamplight. After a few years, when we were both teenagers, I never stopped wanting you. Wrap your arms around my neck.”

She did so, and he carried her to the bed. He bent down, setting her there gently. He didn’t move away from her immediately, instead put a knee on the bed so he could stay bent over her, kissing her lips and neck, anything he could reach. 

Suddenly she started crying. He froze. What did he do wrong? “Princess? Are you okay? What did I do? Tell me what I did so I don’t do it again.” When she didn’t answer, the sobs increasing, he started to panic. Was this too fast? Fuck this is what he got for thinking with his dick. “Princess, please tell me.”

She sniffed. “I’m so fucking pissed off.” Macready didn’t say anything, just looked down at her. “I’m so mad because this whole time, for years and years, I had thought there was a little something between us but we were just really good friends. I wanted more, but I thought you didn’t especially after you picked me up from the brothel. And goddammit, it just isn’t fair.” She started sobbing again, and he pet her hair to help calm her down. “It isn’t fair, I lost my virginity to some old fucking raider who paid top dollar for it. Paid top dollar so that he could purposefully fuck me hard and hurt me, making me bleed and cry. And it could have been you. You could have been my first time.”

Macready had no idea what to say. Yeah, he would have wanted that too, but they couldn’t do shit about it now. “It’s okay, Princess. We have a lot more firsts that you could do with me.”

“Come on, there isn’t much more to sex than that.”

“I bet you’ll find out that isn’t true.” He leaned down to kiss her again. “You want to stop?”

She shook her head. “No, I’m sorry for the emotions. I am just all over the place right now.” She hooked her legs tighter around his waist. “Don’t stop.”

He smiled as he kissed her again, hand finding her breast through her shirt. They were a perfect handful and he groped gently. Now wasn’t the time for fast and hard, especially after what she just told him. She arched into his touch, a gasp pulled from his mouth into hers. He pulled away from her for a moment to push off his boots, then untied hers and did the same. He ran his hand over her calf, feeling the muscle through her pants. He leaned forward again and grabbed her by the waist, picking her up again to set her on the bed right so her head was on the pillow. 

He crawled back over to her and that made her giggle. “What’s so funny?”

“I don’t know, I’ve just never done it like this.”

He sat on his knees between her legs. “Why any man would pay for sex, and not even have good sex, is beyond me.”He leaned forward and pulled the zipper on her pants, and slowly pulled them off, tossing them to the side. He took his own shirt off as she did the same, and he just looked at her. How fucking beautiful she was. Fuck, he wasn’t going to last for shit so he needed to do this right. Leaning forward, he kissed her again, this time slowly and sweet, his tongue dancing against her bottom lip. He moved a hand down her stomach, the soft skin there, past her panties and to the soft curls that lay there. 

He used one finger to run up her slit and the moan that came from her mouth from just that one touch, fuck. He pressed into, and felt how wet she was already. Gently he touched a finger to her clit, just rubbing a circle around it, and she was gasping beneath him. “Fuck, Princess. You are so wet already.”

“Lucy.”

He stopped kissing her to look down at her. “What?”

“My name is Lucy.”

Fuck, his heart was doing a fucking dance. “Alright, Lucy. But you will always be my Princess. Okay, hold on tight, cause I am going to take you for a ride.”

Fuck, he wasn’t lying. Just his finger rubbing circles around her clit was driving Lucy mad. Her hips were rising up to him, and he chuckled as his finger continued its attack. Lucy’s head felt like it was floating off and away, she had never felt anything like this before. His kisses went to her neck, down her chest, where he stopped at each breast to suck on a nipple, pulling it with his teeth and releasing it with a pop. He smirked up at her, then continued down, pressing kisses to her stomach, her hips, then he reached the spot where his hand was. He sat back for a moment and took his own pants off. “Get that shit out of the way.”

He laid down on the bed, his face between her legs, partly kneeling on his knees. He kissed the inside of her thighs, slowly moving to her wet slit, when she suddenly felt shy and tried to close her legs. “What are you doing?”

He looked up at her. “I’m not surprised that no one has ever gone down on you. Told you we will have plenty of firsts.” 

She tried to pull him up but he refused, and she couldn’t felt the embarrassment flowing through her. She was turning red over most of her skin. “Come on, you don’t need to do that.”

“You are gonna want me to.”

“What if I don’t?”

He cocked his head to the side, mouth inches from the spot where his finger just was. This had to be gross, right? “I think you really are going to want me to. Let’s just try, alright? If we try and you don’t like it, we will stop. But I don’t want you to miss out just because you have some idea that your pleasure doesn’t matter.”

She looked down at him, still debating it, when his wide tongue did a long, messy lick up her slit, slowly dipping into each fold from her entrance to her clit. Immediately her hips shot up and she gasped, gripping the sheets on the bed. He chuckled, and used his arms to hold her thighs and hips down, and a hand to hold her open. She didn’t watch, but she could feel it. He was using his tongue over every inch of her, finding the spots she liked. When he hit the little spot just above her clit, pressing with the tip of his tongue, the moan that came from her mouth was almost a scream. She could feel the smirk on his lips. 

He focused on that spot, rubbing back and forth with his tongue. With his other hand he moved down her slit, and rubbed a finger around her entrance, then slowly pushed a finger in, then two. She was so wet, she could hear her slick already as his fingers moved in and out, around inside of her. Then his finger found a spot, and a bolt went through her body. He chuckled again. “Found it.”

That finger went to town on that spot, pressing in and out of her, and his tongue continued on her clit, his lips moving around the spot. She felt a coil inside of her, branding hot, and her hips started to rut against his face, just slightly cause he still held her. She looked down at him, and he was staring up at her. Had he been watching her the whole time? When she looked into his eyes he moaned, and his eyes half lidded shut. She noticed he was moving, and realized he was gently thrusting himself against the bed where he lay. Was he enjoying this? But this wasn’t anything for him, it was just her getting attention. But his hips still gently thrust against the bed as his hand and tongue assaulted her. And then out of nowhere, it happened. The coil inside her snapped, and she threw her head back against the bed and lifted her hips. “Oh, R.J.! Fuck!” Then all she could do was gasp for air, she felt like stars were exploding inside of her. He was moaning with her, against her pussy, finger and tongue still moving, forcing wave after wave to crash over her. Finally the waves lessened. Her legs were shaking and she couldn’t keep them sitting up so she propped them against his head. He lifted his face and kissed her inner thigh, she blushed as she watched him wipe his mouth off. 

“What was that?”

“Have you never had an orgasm before?”

She shook her head. Of course not, why would she? She grabbed onto his shoulders, and pulled him to her. As he leaned forward, she got a good look at his cock, eyes widened at the size. He gave her another one of those damn smirks, like he knew what she was thinking. “Don’t worry, I got you good and ready. Ain’t gonna hurt ya.”

She just nodded, and he settled himself between her legs, bracing himself up on his elbows by her head. Her eyes were closed, and she was waiting for it, but all he did was kiss her, and she could taste herself on him. She blushed, he probably wanted to go clean off. 

As if he could read her mind, he said, “Mm, you taste fucking delicious. I bet you feel as good as you taste.”

The dirty talk was having an effect on her. This was a different Macready, not the hot headed smartass that was sweet sometimes. This was sexy Macready with an air of danger. She thought of all the ways he would fuck her, against a wall, bending her over a table, against a wall in an alley. She found his arms with her hands, and ran her fingers up his biceps as he continued to kiss her. His hips gently pushed against her, and she wondered when he was gonna get to it. 

Out of nowhere he said, hoarse and deep and low, “Open your eyes, Lucy.”

“What?”

“Look at me.”

She tried, but it was hard. She took a deep breath, and finally opened them. He was over her, his eyes full of emotion. He brought a hand over to rub a thumb over her cheek. “Better. Do you want me?”

His thumb kept rubbing her cheek as she said, “Yes, RJ. I want you. Please.”

It seemed that was all he needed. He took his hand to line himself up at her entrance, then put his hand by her head again. “Keep looking at me, Lucy. I want to see your eyes as I fuck you.” That made the arousal in her stomach increase, and as she opened her eyes to watch him, he moved inside of her, just a few inches. She gasped as her pussy stretched to his size. There was some stinging, and he stopped, pulling out, then pushing back in again, only going an inch or so each time. 

By the time he was seated inside of her, Lucy had her legs and arms fully wrapped around him. His face was far enough back that he could watch her face, her eyes. She noticed every time she winced, he stopped. When she gasped, he kept going. Everything he was doing was based on her reaction. Once fully in her, he just sat there for a minute. “You feel fucking amazing, Lucy. Better than I ever imagined.”

He pulled back a few inches, then thrusted forward. He was doing a rocking movement with his hips, making his cock hit that spot in her while also his pelvic hitting her clit. Lucy had expected him to just fucked her into the mattress, but he was going slow. His thrusts were getting harder, and she felt that coil inside of her again, stretching to snap. 

He moaned on top of her. “I can feel that. You are about to come again. Fucking come for me, Princess.”

Lucy held onto his shoulders, nails digging into his skin. It was becoming too much almost, he wasn’t stopping and neither was she. Her moans became louder with each thrust until finally, her back arched off the bed and her head went back. Her nails were digging bloody spots in him, but all he did was groan almost as loud as her, his pumps becoming faster as she came on his cock. His increase in speed made it last longer, drawing out the orgasm like aftershocks, and suddenly he buried himself in her, eyes closed as he moaned out her name. 

They were both breathless, panting and soaked in sweat. He didn’t move, his face buried in her neck and she enjoyed just being so close to him. “Fuck, RJ.”

“Still think you don’t like sex?”

“Oh fuck off with that.” She pulled him over to share a sweaty kiss, and he was growing soft inside of her, He kissed her neck, then with a sigh laid down beside her. Lucy knew she should get up and clean off, but she didn’t want to ruin this moment. Whatever it was. Macready cupped her face, bringing her to him for another kiss, his hand going over her waist. 

“That was fun,” she said. “Never did it like that before.”

“I’m disappointed but not surprised, but glad I get to be the one to have this with you,” his hand was brushing her side, running over her waist and hips and thigh, then back up again. 

She was smiling from ear to ear, then the darkness came over. She didn’t know if it would happen again, she didn’t know where she stood with him. Were they just fuck buddies now? She wished he was more clear in his expectations. He expected her to just know, to read his mind. She didn’t really ask straight forward questions, either. “So, uh, would you want to ever do that again?”

His brow raised at her. “Of course I want to. This isn’t a one time thing.”

She smiled. At least she would have that. “Good.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of angst in here, some surprises for Lucy. I modeled Lucy's mother after my own. Mac being the usual emotionally blind idiot.

Macready was on cloud nine. Laying on his back, sweaty and naked and tired, with Lucy asleep on his chest, purring in her sleep, fuck. Almost ten years they knew each other. Ten years, growing up together, fighting, taking care of each other and others, him and her against the world. And finally, finally he had her. Years of wanting this, even as a horny teenager, and he finally had her, his Princess. He could barely breathe, barely think. His head was just warm and fuzzy static as he imagined their future together. They could do merc shit together, save up for a home. He would take care of her, and she would take care of him. He knew she always had his back, and he always had hers. Even as kids, when he didn’t know shit about taking care of anyone, she pulled a nurturing side out in him, even as young as twelve. Since that day she walked into Little Lamplight, beaten to hell and back. 

His hands almost shook. She was barely eleven at the time, not even yet. She was tiny like most of the kids were. Macready thought about himself, now, a grown ass fucking man, beating the shit out of a ten year old girl? Who the fuck does that? He didn’t even consider himself a good person, a gun for hire, but fuck man, who does that shit? He knew grown men had done other things to her, too, things she told him about one time when they got really drunk on beer. He looked down at her, laying on his chest. He could see the side profile of her face. They had slept like this hundreds of times, but this time felt different. When was the first time? He wanted to remember all the firsts he had with her. 

**Macready was asleep in bed, fucking exhausted and being jerked awake with every noise. Fuck, he hated being a light sleeper. He heard footsteps come to his door, and he sighed. Fuck, mayoral duties. Probably something fucking stupid. A soft knock came on the door and he shouted, “Yeah? The fuck you want?”

“Oh.” A soft voice came lilting under the crack of the door. “Nevermind, Mayor. Sorry to bother you. Goodnight.”

“Get in here, the fuck you want?” He wasn’t getting out of bed, but if there was a problem he wanted to nip it in the bud right now. The person on the other side of the door hesitated for a moment. Probably one of the younger kids. “I ain’t gonna fucking shoot you, I’m just grumpy when I get woken up. Come on now, it was important enough to knock on my door, what is it?”

The doorknob turned, and at the door was that girl, Princess. She was fidgeting in place. The bruises were healing, she had been here a couple of days and was getting medical treatment. Macready propped himself up on his elbow. “Yeah? Come on in. What you need?” He tried to soften his voice. This one was real jumpy. 

Slowly, she made her way into the room, her eyes not leaving her feet. She wasn’t wearing shoes, and it was cold in the caverns. She wore a long t-shirt and hopefully shorts underneath, but nothing else. Probably used to being cold, lots of kids showed up like that. Old habits were hard to beat. She stepped forward until she was just by his bed, Macready didn’t make a move, didn’t want to spook her. “What’s up, Princess?”

Her voice, barely above a whisper and so soft if he hadn’t been looking at her he wouldn’t have known she was talking, “I had a nightmare. A real bad one.”

“Yeah? Most kids here do.”

She shifted in place. “Sometimes they get real bad. The girl I share a room with made me leave cause of the screaming.”

Macready frowned, that was a problem. Can’t be kicking kids out of their own beds over a nightmare. But he was too fucking tired right now to deal with it. Kids shacked up in beds all the time, especially in the winter when it was cold, or simply for comfort. Especially the younger kids, they had toddlers there. He lifted the blanket up on the bed on the side of the wall. “Get in here. I need to get some sleep, and so do you. We will deal with this tomorrow.”

She hesitated, staring at him wide eyed. “Ain’t gonna go nothing, you ain’t my type. Come on.” 

Being cold and tired probably won, cause she crawled onto the mattress next to him. She was shivering, hard. He hadn’t noticed that in the dark. Her hands and feet were freezing, radiating the cold off her. The mattress was barely big enough for one, they would have to be touching each other no matter what. Without him saying anything, she pressed her feet in between his calves, and he didn’t complain, just brought the blanket up to her chin. He didn’t put an arm around her, nothing like that, just pressed the front of his body against her back, trying to warm her up. “Goodnight, Princess.”

“Goodnight, Mayor.” Her voice drifted through the dark and pierced him right in the chest. 

It became a regular thing, every time she had a nightmare she went to him, and she had nightmares a lot. Sometimes he heard the screaming from her room and he went to her, crawling into bed next to her. He ended up giving her her own room once the space opened up, and the other kids were thankful. They understood, but they also needed their sleep. When Macready laid next to her, she was calmer. She finally started wearing the thick socks and warmer clothes, so she didn’t need the body heat, but the closeness of their bodies had a calming effect on her. 

If he had patrol or guard duty and she had a nightmare, she would come sit with him. Just in her socks and that baggy t-shirt, sitting next to him at a fire. She would read aloud to him from books that he would get for her from scavvers, and she was showing him how to read. 

Then one night, when she was a couple of years older and her body was budding and growing, she came to him. Same uniform, t-shirt and warm socks. He was sitting on guard duty and she had the usual nightmare and just wanted some comfort for a bit. He had gotten some beers off a trader, and they were both a few bottles in when they were giggling and being flirtatious young teenagers. 

Feeling gutsy, Macready had reached a hand out and put it on her bare knee. She didn’t jerk back, didn’t move, just stared at him. “As much as I love the view, if you are out of your room you should start at least wearing some shorts.”

She turned bright red, a mix of the beer and embarrassment. “Oh come on, no one is going to be looking at my ugly ass like that. Plus, if someone is a pervert, wearing shorts ain’t gonna stop them.”

He didn’t move his hand away, just rubbed his thumb there. “They might make them stop.”

“Pants and shorts didn’t ever stop my mama’s boyfriends.” They both froze and went rigid. Macready wanted to jerk his hand back, grab her shoulders and shake her, tell him what she was talking about. Princess just hiccuped and burped. “Men just like hurtin’, ain’t nothing gonna stop ‘em when they set their mind to it.”

“You know I won’t let no one hurt you, right? And if someone does you tell me. I will fucking kill them.”

She just smiled. “I know, Mayor.”

“This ain’t fucking mayor shit, this ain’t fucking responsibility shit, though I am responsible for you. No, this is just me and you. You’re my girl, and I am not never gonna let anyone touch you again, got that?” When he realized what he said, he blushed almost as red as she did. He didn’t take it back though, it was true enough. Many of the kids partnered up with a companion. 

“I wish you had been there before,” she whispered. 

“Before you came here?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I wish you could have been there to stop them. They didn’t do anything too horrible to me, they just like, did stuff with their fingers,” hiccuping again, she made a circle with her index finger and thumb and stuck another finger through it, as though Macready needed a visual aid. He was fairly matured in the ways of sex, they had a lot of pornography that traders brought. And Macready knew what rape was. “It isn’t a big deal but, you know, having grown men grope at me all of the time while my mama was passed out on the floor. Sometimes she would be awake and just watch, a smirk on her face. My daddy would have killed them with his bare hands.”

She leaned back against the wall, her knees up to her chest. Macready moved to sit beside her. He wanted her to keep talking. He loved these intimate moments, these stolen moments in time with her that made him feel as good as the stolen pecks on the cheek that they shared. She went on. “My daddy was a good man. He was a merc, good with a sniper rifle, like you. He made his caps by being hired to kill, he was a hard man, but every time he came home I would run into his arms and he would smile and swing me around. My mama was jealous of our affections. He taught me to shoot, said someone needed to protect the home.” She took another gulp of beer, emptying the bottle. “Then he leaves one more time and never comes back. I remember that morning. He had given me a ribbon for my hair, called me his little princess.”

She smiled at Macready as he gawked at her. “Yeah, he called me that, too. Said he needed to go make caps to spoil me. My mama hated that. Then he leaves, never comes back. They said he was ambushed by super mutants. Mama told me he ran off cause he was sick of me but I knew daddy wouldn’t do that. She started bringing around men right away, I think she was waiting for it to happen. It didn’t even hurt me all that much. I knew if she couldn’t love and mourn daddy, as good of a man as he was, she wasn’t worth shit.”

She turned her head to look at him, eyes swimming with beer and tears threatening to fall. “You remind me of him a lot. Maybe that’s why I connected to you so quickly. He was hard, like you. Rough around the edges. But he took care of me, the best way a killer for hire could. Sometimes I hope he is still alive, and I just run into him one day. And we go kill mama together,” she cackled after that and Macready cracked a grin. 

“You know, I could kill her for you,” he said, hand rubbing a little up her thigh and back to her knee. “Just say the word, I’ll take care of it.”

She shook her head. “I’m not worth all that trouble.”

He pinched her thigh and she yelped. “Stop talking like that. If you weren’t worth it, I wouldn’t bother. Come on, you see me treating others how I treat you? No, none of them get this side of me. I make sure everyone is safe, but I don't cuddle them when they have nightmares. I don’t drink beer with them and listen to what they say. I don’t kiss them every chance I can sneak.” Holy shit, the beer was having quite the effect on him, but she didn’t shy away from him. She tilted her leg so it was closer to him and he ignored how it opened up her legs to him. “You are worthy of this, and so much more. I want to give you the world.”

She laughed. “And how would you manage that? What is it you want to give me?”

He finished the bottle of beer in his hand, fuck he was spouting off at the mouth. “You deserve peace. And happiness. I ain’t got nothing to give you. Fuck, I wish that I could buy you a home when we are old enough to leave here. Just a little house on a plot of land.”

She had a hopeful look on her face as she sat up straighter. “Yeah?”

The liquid courage wasn’t quite enough, he was confessing too much. He decided to cover up his tracks or risk rejection. “Yeah, you could do whatever you want. Find a nice boy to settle down with, someone that would love you, someone that you could have kids with and live happily with.” **

Macready winced at the memory. No reason she had it drilled in her head that he didn’t want her. He lied to her about stuff like that, all of the time, to protect himself from rejection. He held her closer to his chest, hand rubbing her back and she arched into his touch even in her sleep. Fuck, how he lived without her was beyond him. And he was never letting her go again. Smiling to himself, he followed her in sleep. 

Macready was woken up a few hours later, the light from dawn was just beginning to break across the horizon. It took him a moment to figure out what woke him up. Lucy had screamed in her sleep. She had rolled over, her back to him, and she was soaked in sweat as she tossed and turned. He went to grab her when she suddenly shot straight up in bed, chest heaving as her wide eyes darted around the room. He put his hands on her shoulders, gripping her tight to ground her but not hurt her. 

“Hey, Princess. It’s me, okay? I’m here. Ain’t nothing gonna hurt you no more.” She was staring at him with a crazy look, and Macready realized she was still asleep. She did this sometimes with the real bad nightmares, she looked awake but her mind was still asleep. He cupped her cheek. “Come on, Lucy. Come back to me, ain’t nothing hurting you no more.”

“What do you know, Macready? All you care about is getting a fast fuck in.” Her voice was hard, mean. The voice of her sleepwalking. He knew this wasn’t her, this was whatever part of her brain dealt with insecurity and shit. He was in no mood, though. 

He grabbed the back of her neck, holding her still. “Don’t talk to me like that. Ain’t my fault you don’t know the difference between a good fuck and making love.” She just bristled at that and he sighed. “Come on, baby. Wake up.”

“How do I know you won’t hurt me?”

“Have I ever hurt you?” Fuck, why was he bothering to argue with her subconscious?

“You have let me get hurt.”

That made him stiffen. “When?”

“Little Lamplight.”

“When? What happened?”

She didn’t say anything more, her eyelids went heavy like she was coming out of a trance. Perfect fucking timing, now that was going to be bugging the hell out of him. She looked at him from under her lashes and her face softened. “Oh, no, I had a nightmare, didn’t I?”

“It was a bad one this time.”

“Shit, I’m sorry. Maybe we should get separate rooms, you need to sleep without me waking you up.”

“You been waking me up cause of your nightmares as long as I have known you. No reason to stop now.” He gave her a smile but she didn’t relax. “Come on, don’t be like that. I don’t want you to go into your own room.”

“It would cost more caps, yeah.”

“I don’t care about the caps.”

She pushed a hand to her chest and gasped. “Why, Macready, are you having a stroke?”

“Shut up.” He pulled her to his chest, and laid down on his back, bringing her with him. “Let’s get a little more sleep, huh?”

The next day, after they woke up and started moving around, they both realized there was a lot of commotion for a town of junkies. Macready was visibly nervous about it, and Princess tried to keep him calm. He decided to go check things out and he ordered her to stay in the room. Usually she would argue but after the night before, she needed to suck up for a bit. He came back rather quickly, told her that Hancock was having some kind of party that night. He did this on occasion for the people in the town, lifts morale and all that. 

She took a deep breath. She had gotten worried for a minute, worried that the town was being stormed. It would figure that finally after Macready fucking her one time that everything would go to shit. He seemed to read her mind, to know she was wound up, and put an arm around her waist. “It’s alright, right? It’ll be fun. His parties are always great.”

She just nodded and turned from him. “We should go to the Rail?”

“Nah, ain’t no work gonna be coming in today. They are getting the bar ready for this evening.”

“Oh. Then what do we do?”

“Whatever we want? What do you want to do?” He had that boyish grin on his face and she rolled her eyes and sighed. 

“I need to go see Daisy.” He watched her throw on clothes and strap a knife to her waist. “I’ll be right back.”

He reached for her arm but she was too quick, and left the room without acknowledging he had reached for her. She knew she was being cold and distant, but that was the best way to handle this. They had messed around, it was inevitable, right? Years of history together, being such good friends, it was bound to happen. It was okay, it was fun, it was amazing. But it was nothing more, and she wasn’t going to get her heart involved in this bullshit. 

Honestly, part of her was telling her to run. Get out now. She had some caps, she could go somewhere and start anew, and he wouldn’t need to be worrying about her every step of the way. She had no idea where she would go, anyway. There was a part of her that didn’t want to leave him, and that part scared her the most. 

She got to Daisy’s shop before she knew it, her mind wandering all over. The town was full of people moving things around, carting crates and boxes to the bar below the State house. “Hey Daisy.”

“Hello, dear. Magnolia bought those dresses, loved them as I knew she would. I owe you a little for bringing so much business to me for it, made a good profit. What can I do for you today?”

“Uh, I’m not sure. I don’t know, you got any like, books? Empty notebooks? Things like that?”

“Ah, a fellow bookworm. I do indeed, come have a look, the box is too heavy to bring here,” Daisy pointed out some wooden crates on the floor to her. 

Lucy went through the boxes and found a few books, and was lucky enough to find an empty notebook with blank paper in it. Buried in the bottom was a leather pouch, inside were several charcoal and colored pencils. Many were broken but still usable. She sighed happily. “I’ll take the lot, thanks Daisy.”

“Thank you, dear.” They exchanged caps and goods, and Lucy set off back to the hotel room. She wanted something of her own to do, something that wasn’t reliant on him. Plus, she needed to distance from him before she got her heart broken. If she kept her mind and hands busy, she wouldn’t dwell on it. 

“Looks like you found some stuff at Daisy’s,” he pointed out. 

She shrugged. “Just something to do.”

He looked like he wanted to make a smart ass comment, but he just sat in the chair across from her. She was looking out the window, watching the street. “It’s all so surreal.”

“What is?”

“This. All of this.” He just watched her and she felt uncomfortable under his gaze. “Being here, with you.” She adjusted herself in the chair. “As a child, I never looked past Little Lamplight. Never thought of the future. Then I left and everything was so uncertain, I didn’t know what to do. And it just feels weird, sitting across the table from you.” She smiled. “Maybe it is just cause I have known you since we were children. Sometimes I look at you and I still see that foul mouthed little leader of wayward kids.”

“Oh come on, I have changed at least a little.”

“Yeah, you cuss less now.”

He snorted. “The fuck ever.” He looked down at his hands. “You are definitely different from the young, beaten girl that practically crawled through the gate.”

They both reminisced on passed days, then she started laughing, laughing so hard she snorted. She looked up at Macready’s face, which just stared at her with a raised brow, and she laughed even harder. “Fuck, I was just thinking about puberty in that place. Remember when I gave those classes on sex education and periods?”

Macready started laughing himself. “Oh man, not only that. I remember the day you came crying in my room, screaming about bleeding. I had no idea what you were talking about, I didn’t see any blood anywhere and I was panicking. I took you to the medic and we both found out what a period was that day.” Lucy smiled at the blush on his ears. “Fucking hell, I remember being horrified thinking, this happens every month?” They both laughed. 

“Yeah, after a couple of years and reading some books on health, that was when I decided to start teaching classes on hygiene to the kids. Especially the teens.” Lucy sat back in her chair, thinking back to the first time she taught a class. 

** Princess was standing in the front of the room, Macready beside her. He was uneasy. “You sure about this?”

“These kids need to know, do you want another little girl freaking out like I did?” 

Macready gulped. “Fine, have fun trying to keep these dumb fucks from giggling the whole time.”

“I have my ways.”

Slowly, the kids made their way in, a mix of boys and girls. They all got comfortable, and Princess stood in front of them as she usually did to teach. “Today, we are going to talk about some things that are different. As we all know, obviously, boys and girls are different and have different parts.”

“Yeah! Girls have tits!” One boy shouted. 

“They feel good to grab!” His buddy piped up. 

A girl next to them scowled. “Oh yeah? Boys have balls that are fun to kick.”

Macready groaned behind Princess, giving her an ‘I Told You So’ look. Princess just cleared her throat. “Fucking obviously, dumbasses. This is more than that. As you dumb fucks get older, your bodies grow, too. Start facing some changes. So, we are going to separate the boys and the girls here. Macready will take the boys, and I will take the girls, and we are going to have a talk about stuff.”

The boy that shouted about tits earlier spoke up again. “Hey, I wanna hear about girl shit!”

Princess just looked at him. “Oh? That’s good! Glad to hear it. So first, we will be talking about periods. That is where the uterus inside us sheds its lining, and every month for about a week we pass blood and clots out of our- what did you call it, Knick Knack? Oh yes, our pussies. The blood and clots soaks into our underwear and-” at this point the boys were running out the room. Macready just smirked at her, and gave her a salute, and followed them to have a talk. 

She turned back to the girls. “Alright, now that they are gone, let’s talk about this shit. Who here has started their period, yet?” **

Lucy looked up at Macready. “What did you even talk to the boys about, anyway?”

He shrugged. “Nothing much. Don’t jack off more than twice a day or your dick will get raw, and don’t put your hands on a girl without her saying it is okay. And if you don’t know if it is okay, ask. If you think you can talk her into it, don’t. That sort of thing.”

She snorted. “Fuck, that is so much simpler than our shit. I was giving a biology lesson in the classroom and trying to tell the girls to just, for fuck’s sake, don’t get pregnant.”

“We didn’t really have a pregnancy problem at Little Lamplight.”

“I should hope no, no one should have kids before the age of sixteen. Plus, I can’t really think of anyone who was actually fucking. Messing around and shit happened, but I don’t think there was a lot of sex.”

Lucy sat back in her chair, thumbing through the empty notebook. She held the colored pencils in her hand, and set aside the ones that were too broken, and sharpened ones that needed it. After a minute she realized Macready was staring at her. “What?”

“I forgot you liked to draw. You like all that shit. Writing, drawing, coloring. Sitting for hours in the corner, straining your eyes in the barely light to write some shit down. Fuck, how you didn’t go blind is beyond me,” he muttered. 

“I still went outside a lot, hunting and shit. Many of the other kids didn’t. Fuck, I don’t know how they handled seeing the sun for the first time in years. I wonder how Knick Knack is doing,” she wondered aloud.

“He must have left not too long after me, right?”

“Yeah, last I heard he ended up working with a caravan. He had a real good head for numbers and trading, I bet he is doing really well for himself.” She began doodling in a book, just holding the charcoal pencil and getting used to moving her hand around in the motions to draw. Lines and curves. She started drawing out the shapes of the room, the dresser and bed, shading in the area where shadows fell over the floor. 

Macready was just watching her, smoking and drinking coffee. After some time, she got up to make more, pouring him another cup and he groaned. “Stop doing that.”  
“You should just relax and get your cap’s worth after buying me. Refilling your coffee ain’t a big deal,” she said, going right back to drawing. 

He just rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair. They both sat for a long time, and her fingers were dusted in dark dust from the pencil. 

It was late afternoon before they knew it. She had been drawing for a long time, lost in it, and ignored how he watched her, how he looked out the window. “Lucy.”

“Hmm?” She didn’t look up from her sketch. 

“Lucy, come here.”

“I’m right here already, what do you need?”

“Just fucking come here!”

She set down her pencil, looking at him. “What?”

He leaned far over the table, taking her hand. He pulled her, gently, and she let him pull her up. Her heart was hammering in her chest and she swore he could hear it. What was that story she had read? The Tell Tale Heart? That was about a dead man. She shook her head, coming back to the moment. He pulled her over to him, setting her in his lap. She sat as far from him as she could, mostly on his knee, looking down at her own lap. He cupped her face and pulled her to look at him. She set her face to stone, no emotion. 

But she let herself look at his face. Thin, angular. He had facial hair that he kept in a goatee, started doing that as soon as he got hair in Lamplight. She let her finger trace over the lines of his beard, a sharp line that went from below his nose to his chin. He was scruffy around it, he needed to shave again. His facial hair always grew really fast, an envy of many of the other boys in the caverns. 

**Princess was watching him from his doorway, a smirk on her face. “What are you fucking doing?”

“Shaving, duh. Fuck off.”

“Why do you do it like that?”

“Makes me look older for when I gotta deal with mungos.”

His honesty threw her off. She stepped closer to him, standing beside him at the table with the bowl of water, he was holding up a tiny mirror and trying to do the rest with one hand. “I can do it for you.”

He just looked at her for a moment. “Alright.” He set down the mirror and handed her the straight razor. She got excited but calmed her shaking hands. Her daddy had shown her how to do this many times. 

“Alright, tilt your head back.” He tilted his head back over the chair, and she stood over him. He looked up at her and smiled, then closed his eyes. 

Gently, she got a lather with the bar of soap and covered his neck and the sides of his face, massaging. She swore she heard a groan from him but she couldn’t be sure. With a steady hand, she took the straight razor over his neck, his cheeks, wiping it after every stroke. She cleaned the lines around the goatee. In no time at all, he was clean shaven once again and she wiped his face with a rag, washing off the soap with water. 

As her hands went over his neck to dry him off there, his hands came up and grabbed her wrists, keeping her from pulling away. This had her leaned over his head, and he kept pulling her down until her face was close to his. He opened his eyes and looked up at her. “Thank you, Princess.”

She gave him a half smile. “Anytime, Mayor.”**

She turned away from him on his lap, and he brought her face back to his. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just, a lot of memories, you know? So much. Memories I had pushed down and forgotten about after you left, after I left.”

His thumb rubbed her chin. “Like what?”

He held her face but her eyes looked down. “All of them. The small things that I never thought about before, you know?”

“Yeah. I get those, too.”

“You were my best friend, you know.”

His brow raised. “Of course I was. And I still am.”

“Yeah.” She pushed up and off from his lap. This was entirely too intimate. “So when should we get ready for this party?”

“I am going to get dressed and head down there myself, see if Hancock needs anything. You wanna come?”

“No, I wanna just hang out here for a bit.”  
He pulled his boots on. “Alright, but don’t get too wrapped up in your art. The parties are never one to be missed.” She didn’t say anything as he gathered his things, taking a look at her from the door before he stepped out. “See you in a bit, alright?”

She just nodded and he left. As she sat alone in the room she huffed out a deep breath. A party, huh? It could be fun, a chance to meet people and just let loose. She hadn’t really had much fun over the past year. Even her last years in Lamplight with Macready were all work and no play as she cared for the children. 

She opened the drawer, and took a look at her last dress, the black one she saved. Holding it in her fingers, she played with the soft material. Fuck it, it’s a party. She looked up at the mirror and pat her hair. Might as well go all out. 

Macready was hanging with Hancock in the Rail. Lots of booze, chems, all sorts of shit were flowing. People were coming in and out, and the party was just getting going. Hancock wasn’t clear on the reason for this one, just said some people needed to let off some steam after working for so long. Macready could get that. Hancock was a good mayor, after killing the last piece of shit. 

He was just beginning to wonder if he should go get Lucy, wondering if she got lost in a book she was reading, when he saw her coming down the stairs into the bar. Hancock froze, and gripped Macready’s arm, and it took him a minute to realize why. She was wearing one of those dresses, a black one. Skin tight and hanging on her curves, a slit up to the hip on one side showed a knife strapped to her thigh. The top of the dress came up to thin straps that went over her shoulders, and they glittered in the barely light of the bar. Her hair was pinned to one side, the other side soft curls on her shoulder, like the style of the old pin ups from the dirty mags he used to look at as a teen. 

Fuck. 

Every man and ghoul were staring at her, even the women were. She paid no mind, just walked to the bar and sat on a stool, waving the bot over for a drink. He practically threw the bottle he held at a customer and went right to her. “What can I get ya, love?”

“Hey, Charlie. Let me have a whiskey, please?”

“Comin’ right up, love.” He poured it with gusto, his mechanical arms whirling. Macready’s jaw was still on the floor, and Hancock had an amused look on his face. 

“Don’t think Charlie has ever been that nice to anyone. That girl is stunning, Mac. She’s the one you told me about before, right? She did say she grew up in Lamplight.”

He just gulped and nodded. “That’s her. She’s the one.”

Hancock picked his jaw up off the floor. “Well, I better go be a good host, then.”

Macready didn’t say anything. He wanted to pull himself together before he went to her, but also saw several men making eyes at her themselves. Taking a sip of his drink, he watched Hancock go over to her and stand beside her, putting a hand on the small of her back. She turned to him, a smile on her face. Macready didn’t like that at all. He watched the two talk for a moment, all smiling faces and soft body language, then she picked up her drink and followed Hancock into the VIP room in the back of the bar. The room that Macready set up shop during the day in, but right now was just a quiet room for privacy during this party. 

Macready took a moment to reel in his temper. There was no reason to be getting angry already, nothing happened. He would give them a moment, then follow them into the room. He gathered his drink, finishing it off, then ordered another one. Thinking twice, he just grabbed the bottle and headed back to the room. Standing in the doorway, he saw red immediately. 

They were both sitting on the couch. Her legs crossed, leg slipping through the slit of the dress, her body facing him. Hancock was sitting wide and spread on the couch, his body facing her as well. They looked comfortable and flirtatious. Macready swore Hancock looked at him from the corner of his eye. Lucy couldn’t see him as her back was to him. Hancock smirked, then reached over and put a hand on her knee, whispering something to her that made her blush and giggle. Macready wanted to storm in there, to snatch her back and hold her close, tell her to stop being like this. But he didn’t. 

If this was what she wanted, fine. He wasn’t wasting his time anymore. She just wanted to be an employee, a friend, fucking him at night and flirting with other men during the day, fine. And fuck Hancock, too. That man was supposed to be a friend but look at him go. The ghoul was soaking in charisma, he could woo any woman into his bed but he chose her, knowing what she meant to Macready. He went back to the bar to soak his emotions in booze, get good and drunk.

He was only a couple of drinks in when Hancock was at his side, taking a seat on the stool next to him. Both of the men looked ahead, and Hancock poured him another drink. He looked sideways at the ghoul. “Can I help you?”

“You know, Macready, I like you. You are one of the good ones. But fuck, you are stupid.”

“Hancock, I am not in the goddamn mood for your shit. State your business and leave me be.”

“You got a real beautiful ray of sunshine in there, and you are out here drinking until your brain is swimming. Fuck, I love a good high but come on, man. What are you thinking?”  
“I saw you two, Hancock.”

“I know you did. Why didn’t you come in?”

Macready scowled. “Didn’t want to ruin your moment together.”

Hancock just looked at him, then laughed. “Fuck, you are stupid.”

“I am about to beat the shit out of you if you call me stupid one more time.”

“You ain’t gonna do shit, this is my town, and don’t you forget that. I took her in there for her own good. She is still nervous and jumpy, I saw it when she sat at the bar. She knew she was being watched, it scared her that the men would talk to her. I took her in there so she could relax and be away from watchful eyes.”

“Quit acting like some kind of knight in shining armor, I saw how you sat with her.” Macready gulped. “How you touched her.”

Hancock got off the stool and stood facing Macready, his face hard, the smile gone. “I told her how fucking beautiful she was, and how lucky of a man you are. I saw you in the doorway and thought maybe you just needed a little push to stake your claim, maybe you would come in and sweep her off her feet. That’s what that girl needs, Macready. Be honest with her and upfront. Like I said, fucking stupid. That girl is sitting in there alone right now, drinking and trying to not come running to you.”

Macready froze, looking down at his glass. “She don’t want that.”

Hancock clapped his hand on Macready’s shoulder and shook his head. “Fucking stupid.” He turned and walked away, putting on his smiling face and mingling with the people of Goodneighbor. 

Macready scowled in his drink. He should go check on her, Hancock is right. He stepped back over to the room and saw her again, her back to him on the couch. Another man had come in, looked like one of the traders who came through with caravans. He was offering her a drink and he watched her shake her head, and thank him anyways. 

The man didn’t take no for an answer, sitting down next to her, entirely too close for Macready’s comfort. He saw her inch back from him, just slightly. The man reached over and put his hand on her arm and she snatched it back from him, in which he grabbed her harder and yanked her to him. 

Macready moved before he even thought about it, lifting the man up in the air easily and throwing him against the wall. “Hands off, fucko.”

“Mind your business, kid.” The man growled. 

“She is my business, asshole. Fuck off.” Macready stood next to her, putting an arm around her shoulders. 

She leaned into him slightly, and looked up at him. “Where you been? Being social?”

He looked down at her. “Just being fucking stupid, is all. You okay?”

The man growled again and muttered something under his breath about “dumb fucking whores” and that brought the anger back up in Macready again. Lucy reached for her knife but he moved first. He took his own knife from his belt, shoving the man against the wall and the knife to his throat. 

“Apologize to her, now.”

“Fuck you, kid.” The man spat at Macready. 

“She ain’t a fucking whore, apologize.”

“Yeah she is. I have seen where she worked, I have fucked her before. She ain’t nothing but a fucking whore. Expensive whore too, considering you have to force her to do anything.”

Without even thinking about it, Macready took the knife in his hand and stuck it in the man’s stomach, moving the blade up. The man’s face was surprised, and Macready let him go and he slumped down the wall into a bloody pile on the floor. He looked back at her, and her face was red. 

“It’s okay, Princess.” He didn’t move to her. 

She just looked down and nodded. They stood there like that, frozen. Hancock came into the room, looking down at the bloody pile on the floor then to Macready and Lucy. The ghoul just lit a cigarette and called down the hall for a few of his watchmen. “Come clean this mess up, before someone slips and gets hurt in it.”

Hancock looked at Macready and Lucy again, chuckled, and walked out of the room. The ghoul bodyguards came in and slightly dragged the man out by his clothes, and another mopped up the bloody mess. Macready and Lucy were still frozen. Then, she sniffed, like she was holding back a sob, and it broke the spell. Macready ran to her and took her in his arms. “It’s okay.”

“It ain’t the first time you have killed someone for me,” she tried to smile. 

“It won’t be the last, probably, either.” He kissed her forehead. 

“Why?” A single tear fell down her cheek, and Macready wiped it away. 

“You should know this already, Princess.” She looked up at him, and fuck, how had she not understood after all of this time?

He leaned down to kiss her again, when a commotion from the bar outside had them both jerking, stiffening and reaching for weapons. When they realized it was just some drunk people yelling out, they relaxed. She turned to him. “Come on, let’s go try to be social for a bit. I put on this dress, might as well get some use out of it.”

He followed her out of the VIP room into the bar, where people were gathering. The room had a weird vibe, Macready didn’t like it. They were safe enough, even during these parties Macready had several bodyguards and watchmen keeping an eye on things. EVen when shit got out of control it was handled quickly. So what had him on edge? Was it because of her? Was he just worried for her?

They made it out and to the bar where she smiled and waved down the bot again. She looked down at a group of people at the bar, and froze. Her face turned to fear and anger. “What is it? Who is it?” Macready was already reaching for his knife. 

She held onto his arm, stopping him, but her eyes not leaving a group of people. In the middle of the group, drinking from a bottle and acting like a regular crazy woman, was a lady who was middle aged but did her best to look younger. Macready was trying to piece the puzzle together, figure out who this was, when Lucy snapped herself out of her trance and stormed over to the group, standing right in front of the woman. 

The two women stared at each other for a moment. Then, suddenly, Lucy reached out and slapped the woman so hard the sound went through the whole room and a quiet settled over the crowd. Macready watched Hancock at the edge, who was looking at him. The men passed a message to each other with a look in their eyes and a nod, moving closer with weapons ready. 

The woman stared at Lucy in shock, but Lucy spoke first. “Hello, Mother.”

Macready’s blood did that hot and cold thing again. He moved closer, standing behind Lucy. Hancock followed his movement, waving the bodyguards back for now. The older woman smirked at Lucy, and Macready saw her do that same thing Lucy does where her face becomes guarded and she put a chilling smile on it. “My sweet baby, how are you doing? I haven’t seen you in so long!”

“Fuck you, you dumb whore.” Lucy’s voice was cold, mean. 

“Maybe we should talk privately, dear,” The woman was trying to coo, trying to fake that sweet voice but she wasn’t very good at it. The men that had been around her were moving back. 

“Nah, I ain’t got nothin’ to hide. Sure bet you do, though,” Lucy was standing her ground. 

“Now, what would I have to hide, dear? You ran away, you were so little! I assumed the worst!”

“Fuck, you ain’t even good at lying, shit. You know why I ran away. You let them do it. Daddy got killed and you didn’t even mourn him. You brought all those men around, and you let them do that stuff to me. I was fucking ten, Mother,” The title was spat out like a curse word on Lucy’s lips. 

The crowd around was suddenly very interested in what was going on. Many people stood close to Lucy, staring the older woman down. People who hurt kids were considered trash in the Wasteland, even for junkies and drifters like this. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, sweetheart. Who hurt you?”

“You did. You watched it happen. You smiled when it happened. You let them hurt me, beat me. I was never even sad about it, you know? I knew any woman that couldn’t mourn a man like daddy, was trash. You, are absolutely, fucking trash.”

This made the woman stiffen up. “You should watch your mouth, dear.”

“Nah, I don’t fucking think so. You know, I would like to say I have thought of this moment for years but honestly? You rarely ever crossed my mind. I assumed you fucking died a long time ago, and it didn’t bother me at all. I never thought of a fucking reunion. I mean, how could you? I would like to know. I was so fucking little.”

Macready stood closer to Lucy, letting her feel his presence behind her. Letting her know he was there, he had her back. 

Surprisingly, the woman cackled, and took a few big gulps from the bottle in her hand. “You were a fucking whore, even when you were a kid, you know that? Your precious daddy, the man that was supposed to love me, would hug you and fucking give you whatever you wanted. Any time he was home, every moment was with you, you fucking slut.”

Macready couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Lucy was just staring at the woman. “He was my daddy. Of course he spent time with me. I was a kid, he was good to me. Good to us. He worked hard, as a killer for hire, and we didn’t go without.”

The woman pointed at Lucy. “You didn’t go without. He expected me to, to spoil your ass. Who does that?”

Lucy was still staring at her. “Who expects their child to go without? What kind of a person are you?”

“Your precious daddy was fucking killed, Lucy. Get over it. Move on. He is gone.”

“How was he killed, mother?”

She just shrugged. “Who keeps up with these things? I don’t remember. But I know he is gone.”

Lucy’s body stiffened again. “You are lying. I know your tells. What happened?” The woman rolled her eyes, and Lucy pulled out her blade and held it to the woman’s throat. The woman spit at her, and Lucy pressed the blade so a dot of blood appeared at the tip. 

“Fucking fine! Shit! He is probably dead by now, but I got tired of his and your shit, spending all that time together. Got tired of him hurting me, choosing you over me. On his last job, before he went out, I saw him braid your hair with a ribbon and call you a fucking princess. He never touched my hair. I sent out a courier, paid them good caps, and told him in a letter that the house had been overrun with raiders and you were killed in the firefight. His ass never came back, and you ran off later. Both problems solved.”

Macready’s ears were ringing. He saw Hancock make a motion with his hands behind him, and the bodyguards came in and swooped the woman up to take her out of the bar. Lucy halted them for a moment as they held the woman’s limbs, and she faced her one last time. Swiftly, she took the knife in her hand and stabbed it in the woman’s chest, turning the blade and then yanking it out. The bodyguards just carried the bleeding woman out, probably to dump her outside the gate. 

The room was still quiet, and Lucy’s heavy breathing pierced the air. People looked at each other and slowly the laughter and talking came back. Lucy and Macready were just staring at each other when Hancock approached them both. All business, he just said, “Come with me, you two.”

Silently they followed him up to the State house. Macready watched Lucy collapse on one of the big couches. Hancock just poured her a drink and handed it to her, and looked up at Macready standing in the doorway. Hancock motioned for him to sit next to her, and he did. The ghoul took a seat on the couch across from them. 

Lucy’s hands were shaking, so Macready put his hand over hers. She looked up at Hancock. “I’m real sorry for tonight, Mayor.”

“It ain’t a Goodneighbor party without a few dead bodies. No skin off my back, if I had any back there. I’m all about hurtin’ someone who needs some hurtin’.”

They sat quietly and finally Lucy said, “My daddy could still be out there.”

Macready didn’t want to give her false hope. It had been years. The man had gotten a message that the little girl he loved was killed. Fuck, that would drive any man into a death wish. Lucy wasn’t his daughter, but he thought how he would act if he was on the job and a messenger said she had been killed. Fuck, he would go blind with rage and pain. “Maybe.”

“How could we find him?” Lucy was asking Hancock. 

The mayor cleared his throat. “I got some connections, lots of caravans and shit. Give me a description, I can put some feelers out. I ain’t promisin’ nothing, Sunshine. Don’t get your hopes up too much. But we can try,”Hancock said as Lucy nodded her head. 

He got some paper out and started writing. “Alright, give it to me. Who are we looking for?”

Lucy closed her eyes and Macready loved the smile that reached her face. “He was tall, really tall. Thin and muscular build. He was a merc, had a sniper rifle. He was always clean shaven, shaved everyday. His eyes are like mine, hazel. He got a tattoo on his neck of my name, Lucy.”

Hancock nodded. “You know of any family he has? Anywhere he would go?”

She shook her head. “Daddy didn’t have any family, all died when he was a kid. He traveled all over for work, he went all over the place. Sometimes he would be gone for over a week, so I know he doesn’t stay in one place very long.”

Hancock finished taking the info, and went and talked to one of his watchman. The ghoul with the gun nodded at Hancock’s instructions, taking the paper down to set out the message. 

“What are you gonna do?” Lucy asked. 

“Well, like I said, I got connections on caravans. Gonna get the word on every caravan coming in and out of here. Sometimes we even get people from NCR. And I am gonna have Kent put out a repeating message on the radio. His radio doesn’t travel far, but a lot of people listen to it when they are in a close distance. Daisy is gonna get word to Travis at Diamond City radio, have him do the same. That signal goes out further.”

“Thank you,” Lucy was looking down at her lap. 

Macready looked out the window. It was dark, close to the middle of the night. He put his arm around Lucy. “Come on, let’s get some rest. This was a lot to handle.”

They said their goodbyes and headed back to their hotel room. Lucy collapsed on the bed, sobbing, finally letting it all out. Macready kneeled in front of her, taking her heels off her feet, rubbing her leg. “It’s okay, let it out.”

“Fuck, he could be alive.”

“Maybe. I don’t want you getting your heart broken again if…” he let his words trail off. She just nodded, her shoulders slumped. 

“Fuck, I feel like I can’t even move my body.”

“I got you,” he said, reaching behind her to unzip her dress and pull it down. Wordlessly she lifted her hips so he could pull it off of her, the soft fabric skimming down her body. She sat before him in just her bra and panties. He reached behind her to unhook her bra, proud he was able to do it in one motion, and pulled a t- shirt over her head. 

She didn’t move. She just sat there as he took his own clothes off for bed, stripping down to just his boxers. He saw she hadn’t moved, so he put a hand behind her back and under her knees to lift her gently and set her head on the pillow, then laid down beside her, pulling the blanket up over them. She just laid on her back, silent tears flowing down her cheeks. “Come here, baby.” 

Immediately she curled into his chest as he laid on his side, hands digging into him with sharp nails. His arms went around her, and he didn’t say anything else. He hoped he didn’t need to. He rubbed her back until her sobbing stopped, and her breathing went deep and steady, falling asleep in his arms. He kissed her head, and laid in the dark, sleep evading him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, young love and emotionally inept. Some non-con in a flashback here. Lucy has been through hell and back in her life, and Macready needs to get past his anger.

Lucy didn’t want to get out of bed. Her whole body hurt, her chest hurt. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying through most of the night and well into the day. Macready hadn’t left her side. He held her, rubbed her back, kissed her head. When the next day came around she expected to go to the Third rail with him. “Nah, they will be busy cleaning the place up after the party last night. Plus I don’t want to get out of bed with you.”

“We shouldn’t lay around in bed all day.”

“After last night I think it's fine. Come on, let’s just get some rest.”

She laid her head on his chest and his arm was around her shoulder, rubbing a spot between her shoulder blades. The scars she had there were fading a lot with time, but they were still slightly visible. “How about a drink?”

He chuckled. “Alright.” He got up and got a bottle that was in her pack and some glasses off the counter, grabbing smokes and an ashtray. “You need to eat today, too. Fuck I am tired of saying that.”

She took a swig from the bottle as he crawled back into bed with her, both sitting up against the headboard. “Then stop saying it.” She laid her leg over his, just needing some kind of comfort, some physical presence. She hoped she wasn’t annoying him. 

“I will stop saying it when you start fucking eating.” After sitting in silence for a bit and drinking booze, he cleared his throat. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Did something happen in Little Lamplight that I don’t know about?”

Her back straightened and she looked forward at the wall. Why would he be asking about this? “What do you mean?”

“The other night when you had a nightmare, you were doing that thing where you seemed awake but you weren’t. You were kind of shitty to me but that is whatever. You said something about how I let you get hurt. I know that Conor kid did but I took care of that. Did something else happen that I don’t know about?”

Shit, Going to have to play this cool. “Of course not.”

“You know I can tell when you are lying.”

She tried to chuckle but it came out as a shrill cackle. She didn’t look over at him. “And whatever makes you think I am lying?”

“Your body language. You have completely frozen up. You won’t look at me. Your cigarette is about to burn your fingers.” She jumped, putting it out in the ashtray. “I want to know, I don’t like secrets.”

Fuck. He was never going to drop this. She took a few gulps of the booze to keep her voice calm, and passed him the bottle without looking at him. Absentmindedly she rubbed her foot on his calf. At least he didn’t jerk away from her touch. This could go fine or really bad, but here goes nothing. “It was maybe a year before you left. I had just turned fourteen.” She could feel his body bristling as she talked. She placed a hand over his and rubbed his knuckles with her thumb. 

**Princess was standing at the counter with Macready. They were both dead on their feet. Kid after kid had come down with a mysterious cold, leaving them bedridden with coughs and fevers. At this point, they had been the only ones standing. Macready looked at the trader, the mungo, his eyes heavy with lack of sleep. “So what have you got?”

“Got lots of medication, stimpacks. Some food. You got anything to sweeten the pot for me?” The man leered at Princess and she shifted on her feet. 

Macready was too tired to notice, and was looking at paperwork that listed their supplies. “We have a fungus that only grows here that has the ability to cure radiation. Our other supplies are low, and I have some caps.”

The man kept staring at Princess, licking his lips. “I want to see this fungus. You got anything else?” His eyes never left her. 

She jerked over at Macready. “I will go get the fungus.” She looked Macready in the eyes, begging him not to leave, to let her go get it. 

He wasn’t picking up on it, thought. He must be really tired, they had always been able to communicate with just a glance. “No, Princess. It is a long walk, stay here.” Macready looked to the trader. “We really need those supplies, let’s work out a deal.”

Princess gulped as Macready walked away. He thought he was being sweet but he was hurting her. The trader grabbed her wrist. “You heard him, let’s work out a deal.”

She shook her head. “I am not a part of the trade.”

“You heard him. He wants to work out a deal. He left you here with me, and it is a long walk there and back. Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll be real good to you.” His hand grabbed her hip and she gagged at his touch. “Oh, so that is how it is going to be?” He pulled her tight to him, holding her body against his. “You ever had a cock in your cunt before?”

She shook her head, trying to pull out of his grasp as tears fell on her cheeks. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I won't make you do that. But you will get me off.” She was sobbing as he took her hand, and forced it to hold his cock that was out of his pants. As soon as she touched it she jerked her hand back. “Yeah, you never touch a cock before? Gonna feel real good with your hand on it.” He placed her hand around the base, and started directing her to move up and down. She couldn’t stop crying as she jerked him off, her face turned to the side. 

He buried his face in her neck, breathing heavily as he groped her breast. His hips started thrusting in her hand and his hand went down to her ass. “Look at this fucking ass. Fuck, feels good in my hand. Don’t stop, I’m gonna come.” His hand on her ass gripped hard, and she felt him come, squirting out hot ropes that fell on her thighs and abdomen.

He pulled his face back and she kept her head turned from him. “That was perfect, girl. Real nice. You are a sweet little thing, you know that? And if you tell anyone about what just happened here, I will come in and kill every last fucking kid in this place, saving you for last so you can watch it happen. And I will fuck you real good before I slit your throat. Understand me?”

She nodded against him and he pushed her off. “Now go get cleaned up before he gets back.”

She turned away and wiped her clothes off, hands shaking. Macready returned some time later and the trader did a 180 in his behavior again. She swore to never tell Macready what happened. He would be pissed as fuck, and he would blame himself.**

Macready was frozen, and she kept brushing her hand against his as she held it. She leaned back against him. “Please don’t blame yourself. It wasn’t your fault. This is why I didn’t tell you.” She heard him sniffing behind her, and she realized he was crying. “Please don’t cry. It’s okay, it wasn’t that bad. He didn’t hurt me.”

“Fuck off with that. That was my fault. If I had been in my right mind I would have never left you alone with a fucking mungo.” His voice started raising. “For years, I kept you from the mungos, and that was why. Especially once you got older. I never wanted you around them, especially alone. And I fucking failed you.”

“Exactly. You weren’t in your right mind. A lot was going on, you had a lot on your plate for a fifteen year old. You had to take care of all of us, not just me but all of the kids. You protected me all of the time, and when I was hurt you took care of it. I don’t hold it against you.” She heard him sniff beside her and realized he was crying. 

“Yeah, you do hold it against me. Deep inside, you hold it against me. When you talk in your sleep like that, you always say shit that you truly believe deep in your mind.”

She was suddenly curious. “What other things have I said?”

“You think I think that you are just a fast fuck.”

“Well, it wasn’t fast, really,” she tried to joke to break the tension. 

“It wasn’t a fuck, either.”

That made her laugh. “Then what was it? Pretty sure that is fucking.”

“You and I both know that was more than fucking, told you that before.”

She leaned over, her head on his shoulder, still holding his hand in an attempt to comfort him. “If it wasn’t fucking, then what was it? Some weird dance?”

She expected him to laugh, but he didn’t. “That was making love.”

Her heart skipped a beat. She had heard the term before, usually used by people in relationships or in books. She hadn’t really thought of it as a real thing, just a silly made up remark. Suddenly, she felt brave. She had told him what happened and while he was hurt, he wasn’t angry with her, wasn’t throwing shit and yelling. Moving the leg up that was over his legs, she turned around and straddled his lap. She looked into his eyes and he seemed so pained that it hurt her, too. He was really hurt that something happened to her, that he hadn’t done anything about it. 

His hands went up to her waist, not gripping but holding her. Almost bashful, she pressed a kiss to his lips. “What’s the difference?”

A light blush swept across his face. “It’s when two people, who really care deeply for each other, just take things slow. It’s not about just fucking and coming. It’s about getting lost in one another, feeling the other person against them. More sensual than sexual, with feelings being a large part of it. I had heard of it before, but I never thought it was actually something that happened until the other night.”

“You never have had that before?”

He shook his head. “Not like that. Nothing like that. But I am not surprised, because no woman I have ever met is anything like you.”

She didn’t know what to say. It makes sense, they had a strong history together. They grew up together, taking care of kids like they were their own children. That got her mind thinking about children, and relationships, marriage. What was she to him? They were close friends, of course. They fuck, well make love. Would she ever have the chance for a relationship? Marriage? Children? 

He always told her that he wanted her to settle down on a homestead, find a nice boy to marry and have a family with. How could she do that now? How could she try to find a relationship with another when he was there? He would never want to settle down, not with her, he has made that very clear over the years. His hand came to her shoulder. “What are you thinking about?”

“Hmm?” She was so lost in her thoughts she could barely hear him. “What do you mean?”

His thumb came up to her cheek, pressing a kiss there. “You are crying.” He kissed her again and another tear fell. “Lucy, we can’t both be a sobbing mess. Come on, what’s wrong? Are you thinking about your dad?”

She shook her head, taking another drink from the bottle. The booze was coursing through her and she felt a little brave. “Thinking about marriage, having kids.” She felt his heart pound harder in his chest. Shit, this was freaking him out. 

He cleared his throat. “Yeah? What about it?”

She giggled, trying to pass it off like a joke. “Just thinking how it would be hard for me to settle down when I am happily banging you.”

He grabbed her and turned her to him, blinking a few times. “What do you mean?”

“You always talked about me having a homestead, finding a nice boy to marry and settle down with. It would be hard for me, with you being here.”

She saw his jaw clench a few times. Did she piss him off? “Is that what you want? To find someone to settle down with?”

She smiled. “The older I get, yeah. I want to have a home, have kids. Leave peacefully, happily.”

He gripped her arm and his face just registered pain. Suddenly, he let her go, and swung his legs over the bed. “Fine. If that’s what you want.”

“What’s wrong? Why are you mad? You are the one who gave me the idea years ago.”

“Yeah, years ago, Lucy. Years ago when we were teenagers and drunk on beer and you were Princess. Years ago when all I was able to do was touch your knee and steal a kiss. Fucking years ago, Lucy.” He was getting up, getting dressed. 

“Are you leaving? What did I do wrong?” She sat up on the bed, having a panic attack. This should make him happy, to know that she didn’t expect him to stick around for her, so he could be free to do as he chooses. He didn’t answer her, was just strapping his rifle to his chest. “It’s not like you want that with me, so what fucking choice do I have?”

He glared at her, and she cowered down. She knew that look, he was fucking pissed and this time it was at her. That was a rage that was saved for others. She had said too much, said the words that they both had decided were left unsaid. She broke the magical spell between them, bringing the truth to the surface and ruining the fun for both of them. 

Without a word, he left, slamming the door behind him. Lucy laid in the bed, sobbing into a pillow, the one that smelled like him. She passed out, her tears taking over everything. Finally she cried herself dry and woke up. Well, this was it. Anything she had with him was gone, now. She didn’t even know if he would return. She washed her face, put some clothes on. She didn’t know who else to talk to, to go to. She walked over to the State house, and up to Hancock’s office. 

She went inside and found him on the couch. She knocked on the doorway. “Hello, Mayor. Am I bothering you?”

He looked over at her. “Sunshine, you would never be a bother. The sight of you in my doorway is almost a dream.” She giggled, he must be high. “Come on in, take a seat.”

She sat on the couch across from him, and gave him a smile. He handed her a cigarette and lit one for himself, his eyes never leaving her. “Don’t give me that fake smile, doll. You been sobbing your eyes out. What’s wrong?”

She started crying again, unable to speak. Hancock got up and sat next to her, setting an arm around her shoulders. “Oh, sunshine. I fucking hate seeing you like this, and I barely even know you. You can talk to me about anything. Someone hurt you?”

She took a calming breath. “It’s a long story, and I don’t have anyone else to talk to. I feel like I did something wrong, and I can’t figure it out in my head.” 

Hancock pressed a friendly kiss to her cheek, and took out a tin of mentats, handing her one and popping two himself. “Lay it on me. Bet you will feel better.”

“I don’t want to be a bother,” she said, tasting the chalky pill on her tongue.

“I already told you, you ain’t a bother. If you were I would have kicked you out. I don’t do shit just to be polite. Honestly, if it weren’t for Macready, I would be putting my moves on you myself. Any man that was in his right mind would make you his girl.”

At that she sobbed again. Hancock put a hand on her knee, encouraging her. She told him everything. Little Lamplight, what she shared with Macready. What happened to her, when she was hurt, when he killed for her. When he left, when she left and he never came, the life she ended up starting. When he came back and found her, bought her. The days and nights they shared together in Goodneighbor. For hours she talked to Hancock, smoking and drinking with him as she spit out everything on her mind with Macready, leading up to the last little blow out they just had. 

Hancock’s hand on her thigh gave her a squeeze. “It’s going to be okay.”

“No, it isn’t. It’s ruined.”

“The man is stubborn and hot headed. He is probably just out blowing off some steam. He will come back, and you will figure it out. Why don’t you go get some rest?”

She looked up in the kind, black eyes of the man in front of her. She could tell he was a player, but if Macready wasn’t in the picture she could see herself being wooed by him. “Can I stay here? I don’t want to be alone.”

Hancock pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Anything you want, Sunshine, I’ll give you.”

Macready was beyond fucking pissed. The shit she told him that had happened in Lamplight, then looking in the fucking eye and saying how hard it would be for her to marry with him around. He was fucking pissed, livid. Pissed at her, pissed at himself. He had to get away for a while, get his head on straight. How did she not understand at this point what they had? 

He wasn’t thinking straight, he knew that. And he needed to in order to work through all of this in his head. But first, he needed to go shoot some shit. He headed off towards Hangman’s Alley, where he knew gunners were hiding out, the ones Hancock had been telling him that were working as slavers. He needed to fucking kill some assholes that needed to be killed. He found a building that was abandoned, and went up the stairs to set up his sniper rifle with a clear view of the guards below. He looked through his scope and found what he was looking for: the gunners that were making caps off slaving, collecting women and children to sell. He controlled his breathing, and set to work. 

He spent three days picking off the assholes, and watched the slaves leave free. He headed back to Goodneighbor, exhausted, only napping here and there the whole time. He went straight to his room at the Rexford, and Lucy wasn’t there. Some of her things were there so she hadn’t left. He was too tired to think, that was the point of everything he just did. He washed his face and crawled into bed, snuggling with the pillow that smelled like her, hoping she would come back and lay down with him. 

He awoke some time later to find his bed empty beside him. She never returned. Where could she have gone? She had to be in Goodneighbor, her weapons were here. Maybe she was drinking at the Third Rail. Getting up and dressed, he headed to the bar. It was mid afternoon, so it was fairly empty. No sign of her anywhere. He drank at the bar for a bit, throwing back a few glasses to calm his nerves. He was starting to panic. Was leaving that night the wrong thing to do? Probably, but he was so fucking pissed he had to. He hadn’t told her when he would be back. Or if. He froze then. What if she thought he wasn’t coming back? He had forgotten to make it clear that he was coming back. What if she got scared and found someone else, what if she thought he wasn’t returning and started making caps the way she knew how? His mind was running to extremes, and as he thought of another man touching her he stood up with a scowl on his face. 

Hancock’s bodyguard, Fahrenheit, came into the bar. She saw Macready and smirked. “You fucking idiot.”

Macready bristled. “The fuck is your problem?”

“The girl has been in the State house with Hancock for three days and nights, drinking and crying her eyes out. You are lucky Hancock is a fucking gentlemen when it comes to pretty women.” At that, the woman pushed passed him, her shoulder hitting him. 

Macready unfroze himself and took the stairs up the bar two at a time, then ran into the State house. As he ran up the spiral stairway he froze at what he saw past the doorway. 

There was music playing. Music from a record player, sweet music about love playing. Hancock and Lucy had their arms around each other. She was smiling and singing along to the music, showing Hancock how to dance along. His eyes were on her face, his arms around her waist. She threw her head back in laughter as they moved along to the music. 

He stepped into the room, clearing his throat. Hancock smiled at him. “Macready, you made it back.” His arms didn’t leave Lucy. The smile wiped from her face and she gave him that blank look. No, not the guarded look. Please don’t do that. 

“What’s going on?” Macready asked. 

“Lucy here is quite the musician. And dancer. She was showing me a few moves.” 

Lucy finally dropped her arms as the song ended. She gave Hancock a small smile, then stepped from him, going to the desk to pour a drink. She threw it back, and wavered slightly. She was tipsy, Macready could tell. Hancock keeping her drunk? “I need some fresh air.” She walked towards the door that led to the balcony. Hancock put a hand on her arm, and they shared a message with their eyes. She gave him a small smile, stepping outside and closing the door behind her. 

The smile went off Hancock’s face, and he rounded on Macready. “You fucking idiot. I mean it this time, not any good natured jabbing. You fucking stupid idiot.”

“Hancock, you don’t know shit about us.”

“She has spent the last three days here with me. She has told me fucking everything about you two, from the day you met until the day you left her in that room. She has sat in here, fucking crying, not understanding. I told you, you needed to be straightforward with that girl. She got it in her mind that you don’t want more, you don’t want a relationship. Fuck, I knew just from what she told me that you do. And what do you do? You fucking take off. You take off and leave her alone, confirming what she fucking thought. And I am here, just trying to fucking make her at least a little happy.” Hancock was growling, barely above a whisper so that Lucy wouldn’t hear. 

“How could she not know that? How could she think I don’t want that?”

Hancock threw his hands up in exasperation. “Because you haven’t fucking told her that! You haven’t been straight with her on it! You are expecting some good sex and a few romantic gestures to be enough, but it isn’t enough. That girl has been through hell with men in her life, just be fucking straight with her.”

Macready gulped. He knew Hancock was right. He didn’t know what kept him from being straight with her. Hancock sighed. “I don’t know how salvageable it is now. She is working on cutting off any emotion from you. I was trying to distract her until you got back. Might have been keeping her kinda tipsy to keep her from thinking too much. It is going to take something fucking big for you to fix this, and that girl fucking deserves it.”

Macready thought for a bit, thought about everything they talked about before. He looked at Hancock. “Hey, I got an idea. Could you give me a hand on a few things?”

“If I think that the plan would work, yes. If it ain’t, I ain’t wasting my time. And let me tell you, it better work for your sake. Cause if I had a shot, I would swoop the girl up in a heartbeat.”

Macready pushed past the anger that made him feel. “Alright, here is my plan.” He spoke his hushed tones to Hancock, watching the door for her returning.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These lovebirds start being adults.

Lucy sat in the chair on the balcony, shivering slightly against the cool air. She didn’t want to face him. After a long time, after she smoked several cigarettes, Hancock came out to join her, sitting on a stool beside her. “Hey, Sunshine.”

“Hey.”

“Come on, now. Let’s get a smile on that gorgeous face.”

“Oh, stop. Lies do not become of you.” But the corners of her mouth perked up a bit. Hancock was watching her for a while. “What?”

“It is always amazing to me when drop dead gorgeous women like you think so low of themselves. I mean, if you got low standards that works out in my favor. That and poor judgement.”

She giggled and looked down, hiding her blush. Hancock had been slightly flirting with her, but had in no way made her feel uncomfortable or violated. He made her feel… special. In a way Macready did. Macready. Her lip trembled again. 

“Oh, sunshine. Come on. Let’s get you out. Let’s go down to the rail and have a drink. Put something nice on, yeah? I wanna show you off on my arm.” He chuckled as he brought his thumb up to wipe a tear from her cheek. 

“This hurts, Hancock. I wish he had left me in that brothel. Left me there to be used until my body was gone, and I could peacefully kill myself like all the other whores did.”

“Hey, sunshine. You don’t mean that. No matter what happens with him, I am really happy I met you, I am happy he brought you here. You are really something, you know that?” His hand went to her neck, thumb brushing her hairline. “You don’t know that, do you? No idea how fucking special you are.”

She looked up into his eyes, and she could tell he was being honest. His black eyes were so kind, and full of affection. Hancock was a good man. He had his vices, but he took care of people, and hurt those who needed to be hurt. They stared at each other for a moment, and she broke the moment to look down in her lap. “Alright, I will get cleaned up. We can go out for a bit.”

He put his coat on, and walked her to the Rexford so she could get cleaned up. She wondered if she would run into Macready, but he wasn’t there. Probably left again. It was for the best, he deserved better than her. She went into the room, and offered Hancock a drink while he sat at the table. “I’m going to jump in the shower really quick.”

“No rush, love.”

She smiled and cleaned off in the shower, getting out and wrapping a towel around herself. Without thinking about it, she went out in the room in only her towel, gathering clean clothes to put on. She thought of wearing the dress, but that would seem to be too much. Too much like a date. Instead she went with the tight jeans she had, and a tank top. The bar would be very warm inside. She went behind the bathroom door to change, and came out wringing her hair with a towel. 

She sat at the table to drink with Hancock. His eyes never left her. She gave him a smile and his hand went over hers. “Hell of a woman.” She waited for her hair to mostly dry, which it did quickly, the curls springing to life in the dry air. Putting on shoes, she looked up at Hancock. “I’m pretty much ready.” 

She grabbed a bag of caps that she carried and Hancock took it from her, throwing it on the table. “I got it, love.”

She looked down at her feet. “I don’t want to be a bum.”

“You ain’t a bum,” his hand cupped her chin, making her look up at him. “Just treating you how you should be treated.” She blushed, and his thumb brushed her chin before his hand dropped to his side. “Come on, love. Let’s go.” He led her out of the hotel, and as they walked down the street she hooked her hand in his elbow. He gave her a smile and pulled her close, and they stepped inside the Third Rail together. 

They headed downstairs and Hancock led her to the closed off VIP area. She went around the corner and the smile went off her face. She shut down any emotion she had. There, sitting on a couch, was Macready. Lucy looked at Hancock, expecting him to kick Macready out for them, but he didn’t. Hancock turned to her, put his hands on her shoulders. “Just give him a listen, alright? I’ll be right out here at the bar. I promise, I won’t go anywhere.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead and she swore she saw sadness on his face as he turned and left, leaving her with Macready. 

Her face made of stone, she sat beside Macready on the couch, and let him pour her a drink. She threw it back in one gulp, then held out her glass for another. She had a feeling she wasn’t going to like this talk. 

They sat in silence, and Macready cleared his throat. “I have a lot I need to tell you, to talk to you about. And I don’t know where to start, so if it seems like I am rambling, just let me finish what I am saying, alright?”

She nodded her head. 

“Lucy, we have an extensive history together. Since we were young. Real young, before we were teenagers.” This was it, he was going to tell her that besides the history they have together, there was nothing more between them. “I have seen you at your lowest, and you have seen my lowest. We basically raised a bunch of orphans together. Since the first time I met you I have shared a bed with you, held you.” Here it comes, Lucy tried to calm the shaking in her hands. “With everything we have been through, that we have shared, I thought you would just know, that you would just understand. But you don’t, so I need to be straightforward with you. Lucy-” a tear ran down her cheek as she held her breath.

“I love you.” Her eyes snapped up to look at him. “I have always loved you. I have always wanted you. I never stopped loving you, never. When I was younger I would talk about you settling down with someone else because I was afraid of rejection. I didn’t want to admit that I wanted it to be with me. I always wanted it to be me, and a part of me thought there was no way someone as amazing as you could love an asshole like me.” Lucy laughed, a soft laugh through the tears now streaming down her face. 

Macready reached out for her hand, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. “I am a fuck up, I am an asshole, I am mean and stubborn and hot headed. I make my caps killing people. But fuck, Lucy. I fucking love you. So much, it hurts. It hurts when you distance from me, when you guard yourself. And this whole time I thought you understood how I felt, that it would be okay without saying it, because I already knew that you love me, too. I know you have for a long time. When I was looking for you, I thought everyday how stupid I was as a teen to not see it. So I thought you already knew how I felt, and that was my mistake.”

He moved closer to her on the couch, her hand tight in his. “When I talked about you settling down in a home, getting married, having kids, I wanted it to be with me. I always wanted it to be me. And fuck knows, I don’t deserve you. Not by a long shot. But I am willing to spend my life working to deserve you.” He reached into his pocket, pulling a ring out of it. A simple gold band, and showed it to her. “I know this is old fashioned, and we aren’t really traditional types. But fuck, I meant it when I said you deserve the world. And this is all I can give you right now.”

“Lucy, will you marry me?”

Lucy’s heart was in her throat. She was crying, and she just started laughing. “Oh fuck, this is hilarious.” She wiped the tears from her eyes, and Macready looked nervous. “I thought I was going to come in here and you were going to tell me that there was nothing more between us than friends. Fuck.” She laughed again. “I am so bad at this shit. Ugh.” She turned to Macready, her lip trembling. She couldn’t say it. She nodded her head vigorously, holding her hand out for him to put the ring on her, both of their hands shaking. 

She looked down on the ring glinting on her finger, then looked up at Macready. Suddenly he rushed her, bringing her into his arms, covering her face with kisses. “I was so scared I lost you, Lucy. Hancock has a lot of charm, I thought I lost you.”

“Hancock was a total gentleman.”

Macready scoffed at that. “Yeah, alright.” He cupped her face with hands. “I love you, so fucking much. I want you to be my wife. I want to take care of you, have children with you. I love you.”

Lucy placed her hands over his. “I love you, too. I always have. I want all of that with you, I never wanted it with anyone else.” 

Macready brought her face to his and crashed his mouth over hers. He held her close to him, like he was scared she was going to get up and change her mind. They sat there for a bit, then Macready got up, holding out a hand to help Lucy up. She let him help her up and followed him out of the VIP room. They went up to the bar and he held her hand up above his head, showing off the ring, and shouted, “She said yes!”

The people in the bar erupted in cheers. Hancock was smiling and clapping from his place at the end of the bar. Lucy went over to him. “Hey.”

“Heya, sunshine. I’m real happy for you.”

She smiled at him. A part of her hurt, because she knew he was a little hurt over it. “Thanks, Hancock. For everything.”

“You don’t gotta thank me, sunshine. I’ll always be here for you. No matter what,” he gave her a smile and winked. She leaned over, kissing him on the cheek, bringing him in for a hug. He clasped his arms around her back and held her tight for a few seconds. “Now go to your fiance, before he comes over here and guts me.”

Lucy smiled at that. Her fiance. Her future husband. The joy inside of her bubbled over and she was brought to tears again as she took her place by Macready. They sat at the bar and had a few celebratory drinks, then headed back to their room, hand in hand. 

Once inside and the door closed, Macready took her in his arms again. “I love you. I can’t wait for you to be my wife.”

“When do you want to do it? Have the wedding? Do you want a wedding?”

“I mean, that’s up to you. We can have a nice little ceremony here in Goodneighbor. We can probably plan it out to be fairly soon. Whatever you want, we will do.” He was pressing kisses all over her, his hands wandering on her body, like he couldn’t get enough of her.

“Really? We can have an actual wedding? I have only read about those, seen pictures. I know people in Diamond City do it,” she couldn’t hide the excitement in her voice. 

“Talk to Daisy about it. Hancock can probably pull some connections, too. Fuck, I love you.”

Lucy chuckled. “I love you, too. I keep thinking this is a dream, or some kind of prank. I never thought you would love me, too.”

“That’s what I don’t get. From a young age, I knew you loved me as I love you. How did you not know? I wasn’t subtle about it.”

**Princess was lying on her bed in her room, crying and clutching her stomach. Since she started her period about a year before, the cramps got really bad every month. It was usually only for a day or two, but all she could do was lay in bed and cry. She was embarrassed about it, and didn’t want to tell anyone, especially Macready. 

She had gone to see the medic but they were out of any chems, so no med-x or jet to take the edge off. The medic had given her a stimpack but it wasn’t working. She cried under her blanket, hungry but unable to get up. 

There was a knock at her door, and Macready stuck his head in. “hey, Princess. Can I come in?”

She groaned, this was embarrassing. She had nothing for her period but old rags, and her clothes had red stains under the blankets. She tried to sit up, pulling the blanket over the hide the blood stains, but cried out and laid back down. Macready came in her room, closing the door behind him. He had a box with him. 

“Hey, Princess. Give me your arm.” She followed his order, and he gave her a dose of med-x.

“I thought we were out.”

“We were. I was worried about you, I talked to the medic. Every month it gets worse. Maybe we should get you to an actual doctor?” 

Princess blushed bright red. “You know what is going on?”

Macready shrugged. “Yeah, not fucking hard to figure out, plus the medic told me. I went out and chased down a caravan today, was able to get you a few doses.” It was his turn to blush as he pulled out another bag from the box and handed it to her. “Here, I found these for you, too.”

Princess held up the container, reading the label. “Maxi pads? What is this?”

Macready cleared his throat. “You put one in your underwear to uh, you know. Help things.” He was a brighter red than her now. “You uh, got some on me last night when you came to my bed. Which isn’t a big deal but I thought this would make you more comfortable.”

The med-x was kicking in, and Lucy was feeling better. She sat up in the bed, looking down at the stuff he had run all over the place to find for her. “Oh, and this.” He handed her a box of Fancy Lad Cakes. “I know you like this and they are hard to fucking come by.”

Princess looked at Macready and he was watching her. “Thanks, Macready. You are a really good friend.”

Macready cupped her cheek, leaning over to press a chaste kiss to the corner of her mouth. “Of course, anything for my Princess.”   
“Can you just, hang out with me for a bit?” Princess was suddenly shy, but she didn’t want him to run off right away. She liked to get any chance she could to be around him, and after this, her heart hurt with feelings that she didn’t understand. 

“Yeah, fucking of course. What do you want to do?”

“Wanna make out?” Princess joked, but the smile left Macready’s face and he went pale. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding, you don’t gotta do anything like that!” She laughed. 

Macready took her hand in his. “But what if I want to?”

Her heart was hammering in her chest. “Do you?”

He didn’t say anything. Watching her eyes, he moved closer to her on the bed, taking her hands in his, pulling her closer to him. He took a hand and placed it on her neck and held her as he moved in, his lips brushing hers again. She gasped as the sweet kiss, just a press of lips, lasted for more than the usual moment. She put her hands up on his shoulders to brace herself, she felt like she was falling. Suddenly, his tongue gently touched her lips, just a brush at the seam of her lips, and she opened her mouth a little. Just two teenagers, learning something about each other. His tongue pushed slightly in her mouth, and she pressed the tip of her tongue against his in a shy invitation for more. He groaned out, and his hands went up to cup her face. 

Breathless, they both pulled away, eventually. Princess’s heart was hammering in her chest, and she was feeling things deep within her abdomen, low down in body parts she knew little about. Macready pressed his forehead against hers. “Fuck yeah.”**

Princess came back to reality, with Macready sitting in front of her. “I don’t know how I didn’t know. I wanted you to. I think, I always just… I was broken. I didn’t think anyone would love me, want me. I didn’t think a man would want me for anything other than to use me. And you never did, you never hurt me. I’m sorry I didn’t see it before, but I still treasure the memories we had together in Little Lamplight. You were so good to me.”

They sat on the bed, fingers intertwined, Lucy half in his lap. She looked over and noticed he was nodding off. The sun had gone down, but it wasn’t too late. “Macready? You okay?”

“Hmm? I am just exhausted. Haven’t slept in a few days. I was taking out slavers.” He kicked off his shoes, stripped down his clothes. Lucy did the same. She lit a cigarette, her hands still shaking with excitement. She caught sight of herself in the full length mirror on the wall, and her face fell as she turned from it. She got an oversized t-shirt to put on to cover herself. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”  
“I wished you could see what I see when I look at you,” Macready said, voice low. 

She gave him a smile, crawling over him to get into bed. Macready grabbed her, holding her tight in his lap so she couldn’t finish swinging over. “Fuck you are so beautiful. And sexy.”

Lucy laughed. “Come on, let’s go to bed. You are delirious.”

“Nah, being tired has nothing to do with it.” He grabbed her ass, taking a handful and digging his fingers into it, pulling her to him. “Love grabbing this.”

“You just have really low standards, then.”

“Hey. No, I fucking don’t.” This time he brought up both hands, rubbing them up her thighs, the sway of her hips, and then back, grabbing her ass with both hands. “I have always loved your curves. Especially when you first started getting them. Whew, being a teenage boy around you was hard. Pun intended. Especially the first couple of years, when you didn’t really realize what your body was like. Fuck.”

**Macready was sitting by the campfire, warming his hands as the food cooked. He looked up, and gulped as his eyes went wide. 

Princess was walking up to him. Her hips had no right to sway that much when she walked. She was wearing jeans that she was growing out of and they fit snug on her, and a tank top that kept absolutely nothing to the imagination. Macready cleared his throat. “Hey, you cold?”

“A bit. Had to wash some clothes, everything is drying. Ugh, nothing fits me. I am getting fat.”

“Uh, you aren’t getting fat. Here, take this.” He took off his flannel shirt and handed it to her, grateful when she put it on but ungrateful when she didn’t button it up, leaving it open as she leaned over on her knees sitting next to him. Fuck. Now he had a clear view of her chest and why did she look so great wearing his large flannel shirt? 

“I am! Nothing fits me anymore. I’m not getting taller, I’m getting wider. I like, don’t even eat anymore and it won’t stop!”

“Princess, you need to eat.”

She waved him off. “I’m fine. So what are you up to?”

He pointed at the pan on the fire. “Making food. You want some? I got plenty.”

She shook her head. “Not hungry.” On cue, her stomach growled loud enough for Macready to hear it. 

“Come on, you aren’t getting fat. Ugh, don’t make me say it.”

“Say what?” He looked at her and she had a completely innocent look on her face. She really has no idea. 

“You aren’t getting fat. You look… you look great, alright? I fucking said it. You look fucking amazing.”

She looked over at him, shock on her face. He almost leaned in to kiss her, when she wiped her face and did that guarded thing. No, not now, Princess. Come back. But she didn’t. She guarded her face and how she felt, and just laughed. “That’s a good one, Macready. I’m gonna check on my laundry, I will bring you your shirt back later.”

She had brought his shirt back to him that night, and he was grateful she didn’t wash it.**

Lucy and Macready laid in bed together, hands clasped together and arms and legs intertwined, both drifting off to sleep with a smile on their face.


	8. Chapter 8

Lucy cracked her eyes open, looking out the window as she laid wrapped in Macready's arms. The sun was barely beginning to rise and a dim light shone through the window, highlighting Macready’s sleeping face. She turned to look at him. When he was awake he looked older, the weight of the world having been on his shoulders since he was a child. When he was asleep he looked his age, boyish and mischievous almost. 

She moved in the bed to face him, shifting her body. Macready made a disgruntled noise in his sleep and pulled her tighter to him as she turned to face him. She couldn’t help but smile as she brought a hand to gently run her fingers over the shape of his face, his hollow cheekbones and his strong jaw. Light sleeper as he was, he woke up immediately, his eyes falling on her. “Hey, Princess.”

She giggled at the nickname. “Hey.” She didn’t know what else to say. The last few days had been a whirlwind. 

He pressed her tighter to him, leaning forward to kiss her. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” she whispered, eyes falling to his chest.

“Liar. What’s wrong?”

Leave it to him to notice, he knew her entirely too well. “I don’t think anything is wrong, per se, it is just. A lot. A lot to handle, to process.”

He bent his elbow and propped his head on his elbow, looking down at her. “Like what?”

“Everything. My mom and dad, then you. The last week has just been so much, you know? And it still doesn’t feel real. None of this feels real. I never thought I would be here, in this place, with you. And now you claim that you love me, and-”

“Hey, I ain’t claiming shit. I said I love you, because I do. I love you, and I want to marry you. I never want to live without you again.”

“It’s just hard to believe, I’m sorry.”

His hand that was holding her to him came up and cupped her chin. She did her best not to flinch, she knew he hated it but she still winced, and she ignored his frown. He pulled her face up, making her look up at him as he looked down at her from his propped head. “I’m not fucking with you. I’m sorry that your head has been so fucked that you can’t believe it, but I ain’t gonna give up just cause you don’t think it is true. I ain’t going fucking anywhere, alright?”

He leaned down to kiss her again. “I want you to go to Daisy, and plan the wedding. I’ll do anything to help that you want me to, but I want you to have whatever you want. I want to marry you, and as soon as possible. I want you to be my wife. I want us to work to get a homestead, a house on some land. I want to live with you. I want you to have my children, grow old with me. All of that. I never wanted any of that with anyone but you.”

She rested her head on his chest, her arms wrapping around him. Fuck, she wanted all of that, too. He kissed the top of her head, then rested his cheek there, humming softly to her. That song they both loved. You Really Got A Hold On Me. 

She smiled. “Too bad we don’t have that jukebox anymore to play that song.”

“Yeah. It’s alright, though. Hancock has a record player and music, I am sure you can find something you like.”

She looked up at him. “We don’t really have to do anything like that. Weddings like that are for rich people in Diamond City. We can just get someone to stand there as we say vows, wouldn’t cost anything-”

“Stop. Don’t. Don’t start worrying about caps and shit. I’ll take care of it, alright?”

“You shouldn’t spend caps on something this stupid.”

“It ain’t fucking stupid, cause you want it.”

“How do you know I want it?”

“Cause I saw your face when I brought it up. It’s okay, Lucy. You never ask for shit. You ain’t fucking high maintenance or anything, and you go without even when you don’t need to. Let me give you this. Fuck, just fucking let me spoil you.”

Lucy laughed. “You don’t need to spoil me.”

“I know, that’s why I want to do it.”

She stretched in his arms and sat up in the bed. “Alright. Daisy should be up and in the store by now.” She got up, looking for clothing, sighing at her options. 

“What is it?”

“I have nothing to wear.”

She could feel his eye roll from behind her. “Then get more clothes.”

“I’m not wasting caps on more clothes, I have clothing.” She looked back at him. “I see what you did there. Fine. I’ll get dressed.” She picked up a pair of jeans, putting a black shirt on over her bra. “See? I look gross. I can never find anything that fits me.”

Macready was sitting up in the bed, leaning against the headboard. He reached for his cigarettes off the nightstand and lit one. “You want clothes, buy them. Whatever you want, you can have. But I ain’t sitting the fuck by and letting you think so goddamn low of yourself.” Lucy sat in a chair, pulling on her boots. “I don’t know how else to drill into your head that you are fucking gorgeous, and just watching you walk in those jeans makes my goddamn cock hard.”

Lucy blushed, walking over to the bed and sitting on the edge. He was watching her, leaned back, cigarette in his mouth. She leaned forward, inches from his face, then snatched the smoke out of his mouth to take a long drag. She smiled and gave it back to him. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

“Alright. Fucking love you, Princess.”

She smiled and looked back from the doorway. “Fucking love you, too.”

Lucy went to Daisy’s shop and was delighted to see the ghoul was up and about. 

“Hey there, sweetheart! What can I do for you today?”

“I have a very odd request, one that we will need to talk about. Do you have some time to sit with me?”

“Sure, dear. Here, just made some coffee.” Daisy poured two cups and set it in front of Lucy, sitting at the small table in the shop with her. “What’s going on?”

“I figured, since you are pre-war, you might be able to help me plan a small wedding ceremony.”

Daisy gasped. “You are tying the knot with him?”

Lucy cocked her head. “No, we are getting married.”

That made Daisy laugh. “Yes, dear. That is a slang term that we used to use. Tying the knot, getting hitched, etc. So, what do you need?”

“Everything? I have an idea of what a ceremony is, I have read about it in books and have heard people talk about doing it in Diamond City. I don’t want anything that rich people do, but I want a nice little ceremony. One that really represents us, you know? I would like someone to, what’s the word? Officiate? And maybe some flowers. The people in the town can be there. And well,” She blushed, “I would like to find a dress, maybe. If I can. I doubt I can, but it-”

Daisy suddenly stood, her face gleeful. “Come with me.”

Daisy led her to the upstairs of the shop, where her apartment was. Inside was a simple place with plain furniture, and in the corner was a large trunk. Daisy reached inside and dug around, pulling out a large package on a hanger. She gently set it on the bed, unzipping the front to reveal a beautiful white dress. “This was the dress I wore when I married my Harold. When the bombs hit, only a few of my possessions were salvageable. This was one of them.”

“Oh, Daisy, I couldn’t-”

“I can loan it to you, dear. Let’s try it on, and we can make adjustments.”

Bashfully, Lucy stripped down to her underwear, and Daisy helped her pull it over her head. There was a mirror in the room and Lucy looked in it. The dress was beautiful, like something a queen would wear. A deep sweetheart neckline that went down to a bodice embroidered with flowers. It had sleeves that went down to her elbows, and a long, full skirt that reached the floor, with several layers of material under it to make it puff out. 

Daisy stood behind her, pulling the dress back at the zipper. “We will need to take it out here, which will be easy. I had to take it in because I was not nearly as busty as you, so I can just take out the stitches and it will fit perfectly. It needs to be hemmed, too. Won’t take long, maybe a day or two.”

“Really?”

“Really. Ask Hancock to officiate the wedding, he would get a kick out of that and has done it before. He has music you can play, too. Probably have a reception at the Third Rail. I will talk to the scavengers, start gathering flowers and stuff. Just go talk to Hancock, I got everything else.”

“Daisy, thank you. We will compensate you for your time-”

Daisy held up a hand, and frowned when Lucy jumped back. “No need. I want to do this. Takes me back to an old time, when things were different. I’m excited to do it. Send that boy to me, I need to get him something different to wear.”

“Yes ma’am. Thank you.” She hugged Daisy, then ran off downstairs to find Hancock. 

She went into the State house, climbing the spiral staircase. She realized it was early, and he was probably still asleep. Turning back around, she started to quietly step away. 

“Sneaking out on me, sunshine?” she heard his low voice from the doorway.

“Oh, you are up. I’m sorry, I thought you would still be asleep.”

“Nah, sunshine. What can I do for you?”

She sat down on the couch next to him and turned her body to face him. Hancock got a big smile on his face and put his hand on her knee, where she clasped his hand in hers. “Hancock, you are a good man, and have helped me so much. I am working on planning the wedding, would you be willing to officiate? And could we use your music? And I was thinking a reception at the Rail, of course I would pay for everything.”

She noticed Hancock’s smile falter for a moment, but he tipped the corners of his mouth back up. She didn’t miss this hurt in his eyes. “Of course, sunshine. Don’t worry about the caps, alright? Consider it a gift. I am happy for you, doll. Real happy.”

Lucy leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, and he let out the softest sigh. “Thank you, Hancock. I will never forget the kindness you have shown me.”

He cupped her cheek and watched her for a moment, then kissed her sweetly on the forehead. “If Macready ever fucks up, you know where to find me. Woman like you, I would even go for monogamy.”

Lucy appeared to be shocked. “Well, Hancock, you sure do know how to sweet talk a lady.” She got up and stepped towards the door. “Really, thank you.”

Hancock followed her, and grabbed her elbow. “When does all this need to be ready? When are you thinking?”

“About three days? Is that okay? Daisy is helping me with a dress.”

“That’s perfect, sunshine. And I meant what I said earlier. Macready ever fucks up…” he let his sentence trail off with a wink. “And even if he doesn’t fuck up, my door is always open to you.”

“I am pretty sure that I will be the one to fuck up, not Macready,” she said with a laugh, and walked out of the State house. 

She went back to their room, to see Macready sitting up in the bed still, reading a comic. “So, how did it go?”

She couldn’t contain her glee as she squealed and jumped in the bed to see across from him. “Three days time! Hancock is going to officiate and handle the music and reception. And, guess what?”

“What?”

Suddenly she froze. She wanted that to be a surprise. “Oh, Daisy found me this dress. It isn’t anything special but it will look nice. She also wants you to go see her so you can get something different to wear. Nothing fancy or anything like that.”

Macready just nodded. “In three days, we will be married. You will be my wife.”

Lucy nodded her head. “Weird, isn’t it?”

“Nah. I always knew you were mine, ever since I was fourteen years old.”

Two days later, Lucy went to talk to Daisy. The wedding was the next day, so she was going around in the morning to check on how things were going. Daisy showed her the dress with pride, and she tried it on. Luckily it fit perfectly, or at least this time it could zip up. 

They were talking about old traditions when Daisy gasped. “I just remembered, it is bad luck for the groom to see the bride the day before the wedding. You should stay here tonight. It will make tomorrow that much more special.”

“Oh! That’s a good idea!”

Daisy stood up. “Here, I am going to take these clothes to Macready and let him know you are following an old tradition. I will be back soon, dear.”

With that, Daisy left and Lucy was sitting by herself. She tried to remember the last time she got dressed up for anything like this, and all that came to mind was when she talked some of the kids to put on a play in Little Lamplight for the other kids. 

**”Come on, Macready! It is a lead role, it is an honor to play this character!” Princess practically whined.

He put his foot down. “No, I ain’t fucking doing it. I hate reading that shit and I don’t want to play fucking dress up. You do what you like, I don’t fucking care. But I don’t want to.”

Princess swallowed the tears that welled up, turned on her heel, and left. He had been under a lot of stress as of late, and been more snappy than usual. She had been trying to talk him into play Romeo for over a week. She would play Juliet, as she was the only girl in the caverns that was old enough to talk. 

They made costumes out of scavenged goods, and the few people she got to act out the play learned their parts fairly quickly to her surprise. 

The day of the play, kids lined up and took seats in front of their makeshift stage. She didn’t even bother to look and see if Macready came, she knew he didn’t. She told herself that was okay, not a big deal. This was entertainment for the little kids, something to distract them from hunger and cold. 

The play went well, with only a few kids forgetting lines here and there. Several kids, including herself, had to play multiple parts and they would run behind a curtain and change constantly. Princess was so swept up in changing clothes and her lines, she didn’t realize they were at THAT scene. She stood up on their makeshift balcony which was just a ladder covered with cardboard, and she said her lines. “Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name…”

Once she started saying her lines, she remembered what was coming. Travis, a boy around Macready’s age, was playing Romeo. He said his lines, making his way to Juliet. They got to the part of the kiss, and Juliet expected Travis to make a joke of it, to make the little kids laugh. 

But he didn’t. He stared into her eyes and cupped her cheek, rubbing his thumb there slightly, then leaning in for a sweet kiss that lasted a few seconds longer than it should have. They finished the scene and Princess couldn’t focus. That was why she wanted Macready to play him. But Travis was sweet about it, which was nice. 

They finished the play and the kids applauded. The actors stood in front and bowed. There, in the back sitting on a metal crate, was Macready. He wasn’t clapping, he was scowling. 

Princess sighed, and helped clean up for a few minutes, then the exhaustion hit. So much running around, so little food. She excused herself and started making way to her room, still in her Juliet costume: a long, lovely gown made with a white gauze that clung to her body and swished when she walked. 

She was so tired she didn’t hear Macready following her, so when he slammed the door to her room behind them she jumped. She turned and there he was, his jaw clenching. “What?” she asked. 

“What do you mean, what? What the fuck was that?”

“Uh, a play? By Shakespeare? Any other questions?”

“Do you really think that was fucking appropriate?”

“Why are you so fucking mad?” she was starting to raise her voice. The lack of food and all the running had her feeling dizzy and seeing double, but she didn’t want Macready to see it.

“The way he fucking kissed you was not fucking appropriate!”

“Is that what you are mad about? I tried to get you to play Romeo, and you straight out refused! I get it, you think shit like this is stupid and useless. It got those kids to forget that they are hungry for a little while. It kept their minds going, gave them something to do. And I begged you to fucking do it with me and you fucking refused, leaving me to do it all, leaving me to kiss someone else!” She was beginning to get short of breath, and she was gasping out, trying to hide it.

Macready was practically growling. “I didn’t like how he kissed you.”

“I don’t know what to tell you.”

Macready took the two steps to Princess, taking her arms in his grasp. “You shouldn’t let others- Princess, are you okay?” His hands on her arms noticed the clammy skin, and he was hearing her shortness of breath. 

She nodded, trying to step back from him but he held her tight. “I’m fine, Mayor. You have shit you need to do, and so do I. Have a good day.” And at that, her knees buckled from under her. 

“Princess!” He held her and sat her down on her bed, sitting next to her. “What’s going on? What’s wrong?”

She was breaking out in a cold sweat and talking made her feel sick but she was able to spit out, “I’m fine, just tired.”

“When is the last time you ate?”

Princess thought for a moment. “The last time a trader came through, I ate that day.”

“Three goddamn fucking days ago?” Macready yelled.

“It’s fine, I’m fine. The little ones need it more than me.”

“Nope, not having this. Come on, let’s get you some rations.”

“I’m not going to eat, Mayor. Give it to someone else.”

Macready took her hand, pulled her to his chest. “Please, don’t be like this. I need you to eat at least once a day.”

“I’ll eat tomorrow, okay? Brix is really sick with a fever and needs the extra rations right now.”

Macready gulped. “No. I will not allow this. I need you healthy. I need you here, with me. I want you here with me, and capable of walking without getting sick. Come on, Princess. Do it for me?”

“I’ll eat tomorrow.”***

Lucy smiled at the memory, as she always did. Times were hard in Lamplight, but they always made it through. If it weren’t for Macready, who knows where they all would have been without him. 

She spent the day with Daisy, talking about marriage and men. She was so excited she could barely sleep, but managed to finally pass out. 

She slept in later than she wanted to, but wasn’t too late. She got up and cleaned up in Daisy's bathroom. She was all smiles and shaking hands. She ate breakfast and drank coffee with Daisy, unable to contain her excitement. She saw Hancock outside, and he waved her over. 

“Hey, doll. So we are going to do all of it at the Rail, ceremony and all. It has seating already, and many people are wanting to come. What do you think?”

“I think it sounds great, Hancock. Thank you,” she kissed his cheek and went upstairs to Daisy’s apartment. It was time to start getting ready. 

She curled her hair with some rollers that Daisy had, making her long hair lay in ringlets around her face and down her back, the curls more defined this way. Daisy handed her a little golden tin, and she opened it to find some kind of red paste. 

“It’s rouge. Here, let me show you.” With delicate fingers, Daisy dipped her finger in the tin and put a little on Lucy’s lips, and some on her cheeks, rubbing it in. Lucy looked in the mirror and was shocked to see what a little color made a difference. “Alright, dear. Time to get the dress on.”

Lucy’s hands shook violently as she lifted them above her head so Daisy could pull the dress over her head. She stood in front of the mirror, looking at herself as Daisy zipped up the back of it. She couldn’t believe the woman that looked back at her from her reflection. She didn’t look like a little girl playing dress up for a play. She looked like those old photos in books, of brides before the bombs fell. She sat and looked at herself for a while. 

“You look amazing, Lucy.”

“Thanks, Daisy. This is all because of you. Thank you so much, anything you need I will do.”

From downstairs in the shop, they heard someone call for Daisy. She went downstairs and came back up a minute later. “They are ready, he is in the rail with Hancock, everyone is ready. Are you ready?”

Lucy laughed. “Daisy, you sound more nervous than me. Oh god, is he going to like this dress? He is going to think it is stupid. This is too much. Help me change my clothes.”

Daisy grabbed her hands. “If you don’t wear this I am going to be fucking pissed.” Her words were harsh but she smiled as she said it. “It is normal to feel this way, we used to call it getting cold feet. Just don’t leave him at the altar.”

“Did that ever happen?”

They started heading down the stairs, Daisy holding up the train on the back of the dress so it didn’t catch in the dirt. “All of the time. I thought it was hilarious. I think this makes me your Maid of Honor.”

Lucy swung around. “Oh, I didn’t even think of that!”

Daisy helped her through the doorway of the shop and they slowly made their way to the Third Rail. There was no one out in the streets of town. “Daisy, what was Harold like?”

She heard Daisy sigh from behind her. “I loved him so. He was funny, a quiet man. He was a good counter balance to me. Sometimes I miss him, but I am also grateful he is not here in this world, stuck like me.”

They got to the door of the bar under the State House, and Lucy opened it. Inside, Ham stood in his place by the stairs. Everything was covered in flower garlands, and Ham had a hubflower in his lapel. She got inside, and Daisy dropped the train of her dress, then ran around and grabbed a bouquet, handing it to Lucy. “Here you go, love. I’m gonna go down there and tell them you are ready.”

Lucy was shifting back and forth on her feet. Ham smiled at her. “You look lovely,” his voice was low and his eyes were kind. 

“Thank you, Ham.”

After a few minutes, music started playing. Ham went down the stairs, and pointed for her to come. He disappeared around the corner, and Lucy started feeling nervous. Maybe this was all entirely too much? It was silly? But fuck it, too late now. 

She slowly stepped down the stairs, not wanting to fall or trip. The bouquet of hubflowers and orange blossoms in her hand felt hard as she tried to focus on just not falling. 

Finally, she made it to the bottom and was in the bar, and she gasped. Everyone was sitting and the place was covered in flowers and blossoms, and the tables had cloth covers. Her gaze moved around the room until it locked on Macready, who was stone still. 

~~

Macready was waiting nervously by the bar with Hancock, who put a reassuring pat on his shoulder as the music played and Ham beckoned her down. It seemed to take forever, time slowing down like he was on jet. Then he saw her at the bottom of the stairs. 

Holy fucking shit. 

She didn’t mention the dress, not like this. Everything suddenly felt like a dream. Her face was nervous, she looked scared. He shook his head, and smiled at her. She gave him a small smile back, and slowly made her way to them by the bar. She got within arms reach of him, and he held out his hand to her and she took it, letting him pull her beside him. His arm went around her waist immediately. The music stopped, and they faced Hancock. 

Hancock wasted no time. “Alright, brothers and sisters, we don’t get to do this too fucking often. Today, we get to witness a union between two people who have been together since children, gone through hell and back, and still found each other again. Robert Joseph Macready, and Lucy O’Brian, are both amazing people that I have the honor to know. They will say their vows to each other so, let’s get the fucking party started.” Hancock looked at Macready. 

Macready almost stuttered, realizing this was the first time he heard her last name but it didn’t matter. He turned to Lucy, and took her hands in his. “Lucy, I have known you since you were a small child. Together, we helped raise a cavern of orphans and misfits who had nothing else in the world. We have seen each other at our lowest, and have always made it through. I have always loved you, and I never want to live a single day without you. I wish I could have done better for you at times, but we still ended up here. I can’t wait to live a full life with you by my side. I love you, and I am honored that you are my wife, and you will always be my Princess.”

He was trying to swallow the lump in this throat, and she squeezed his hand. Hancock looked over at her and she looked at the ground, then back up at him. “RJ, you saved me, many times over, in different ways. You have always come through for me, sometimes it taking longer but in the end, we are here together. Every fucked up thing that happened to me, to us, to you, it led us right here to where we are and I wouldn’t have any of it different.” Macready saw a tear that fell down her cheek, and wiped it away. She gave him a small smile. “Thank you, for everything. I love you, and I will stand by your side, no matter what.”

They both looked at Hancock, who cleared his throat and nodded. Daisy stepped over and whispered something to Hancock and handed him something. “Put out your hands, Macready and Lucy.” Macready looked at Lucy with his brow raised but she just shrugged, and they put out their hands. In each palm, Hancock dropped a ring. Macready smiled at the ghoul. His hand shaking, he took Lucy’s hand and he put it on her ring finger. She did the same for him.

“Now, by the power invested in me as Mayor of Goodneighbor and King of the Junkies, I pronounce you husband and wife. Robert Joseph Macready, you may now kiss your wife, Lucy Macready.”

Macready turned to Lucy and without hesitating, took her face in his hands and pressed his lips to her, her hands going around his waist. He didn’t want to let go, couldn’t believe this was happening. She was his, forever his. Everyone in the bar was cheering, and music started playing. Hancock really went all out for the records, it was playing music Macready hadn’t heard in years. His arms were still around Lucy, he didn’t want to let her go. He looked down at her, she looked fucking beautiful. “Fuck, you look great, Lucy.”

She laughed. “Thanks, RJ. I wanted it to be a surprise, this is Daisy’s old wedding dress.”

He nuzzled her neck. “Come on, let’s celebrate.”

They took a seat at one of the long tables. Hancock had pushed all of the tables together in a circle, leaving space for people to dance in the middle of the bar. People came up to congratulate, some people gave gifts. Macready was humbled, many of these people were drifters and had nothing, but they wanted to give something. 

Daisy came over. “Get up, you two. You need to have your first dance. No one can dance until the newlyweds do.”

Macready groaned. “Alright, one dance.”

Hancock rustled through his box of records until he found the one he wanted while Lucy and Macready made their way to the dance floor. The music started, something slow. Macready put his arms around her waist, and she put her arms around his neck. She was humming along. 

“You know the song?”

“Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers.”

The song was beautiful, and nearly had Macready in tears. All of this was entirely too emotional. They swayed back and forth, moving in a circle, Lucy held tight to his body. She put her head on his chest, and he pressed his cheek to the top of her head, closing his eyes, getting lost in the song and the woman in his arms. 

The song ended, and everyone applauded. Hancock put on new music, and people started getting up to dance. Macready still held onto Lucy, holding her tight. “The song is over,” she laughed. 

“I don’t want to let you go.”

“I’m not going anywhere, love. Come on, let’s go get a drink. Someone gave us some booze, let’s break it in.”

They sat down and shared a drink. People gave toasts, to them, to love, to freedom to do as people choose. The spirit was light and fun, with booze and chems flowing. There were no fights, no usual Goodneighbor drama. People brought them some food, and Macready ate. Lucy didn’t really eat much, and he frowned and pointed until she did. 

Macready looked over at Lucy and saw her hide a yawn. “You tired?”

“I didn’t sleep much last night.”

“Let’s head out, then.”

Daisy came up to Lucy. “You can’t leave until you throw the bouquet!”

“What?” Macready was confused, but Daisy and Lucy looked excited. 

Daisy stood on a table and called out to the room. “This is an old tradition that the bride does as she is leaving. All the single ladies gather here, and she throws the bouquet behind her back. Whoever catches it will be the next to marry!”

The women all got excited, gathering in the middle of the room. Macready smiled as Lucy stood by the door, and threw it behind her back. Everyone jumped, and a young ghoul in the middle caught it and squealed. Everyone applauded and the young woman looked thrilled. 

He joined her at the door. “Let’s go home.”

They waved at everyone as they left, the party continuing behind them. They would be going at it until late the next day. They made their way back to their room, Lucy holding up her skirt as she walked. 

Macready closed the door behind them, bringing her in his arms around. “Fuck, I love you. You look goddamn amazing.”

She laughed. “You are going to have to help me get out of this thing.”

“With pleasure.” He smiled and turned her around, pulling down the tiny zipper. He looked at the dress as it opened. “How do you take it off?”

She looked down. “Daisy said they used to drop it and set out of it, but I’m too fat and it won’t go over my hips-” Macready growled, grabbing her hips, “so we are going to have to lift it over my head.”

He grabbed hold of the bottom of the dress, and lifted it up, moving it over her stretched out arms. “Fuck, this shit is heavy. Is it even comfortable?”

“It’s not too bad. Daisy said this is a simple dress compared to how some of them used to look” They got the dress over her head and she stood there in her panties and bra and heels. Fuck, that is a good look on her. To his dismay, she took the heels off. 

“I like seeing you in those shoes. We should get you your own pair to wear. To wear only them.” She blushed and turned away from him. “Hey, don’t do that. I love you, and I want you. You are fucking beautiful without all of that, and you are sexy with it. Just let me want you.”

She pulled a large shirt out of a drawer and sighed as she took off her bra, putting on the large shirt. Macready watched her carefully fold the dress and put it in a drawer, then sit at the table and light a cigarette, staring down at her hands. 

He sat in the other chair and took off his shoes, started removing the suit that he was given for the day. He loosened the tie, unbuttoning the cuffs and shirt to take it all off. He sat in his boxers, and lit a cigarette for himself. He looked over to see Lucy smiling. “This is more us, than that stuff.”

“Yeah, but that stuff is nice, too. It’s okay to want pretty things, you know. I don’t care. I’ll get you anything you want.”

Lucy sighed and got up and stretched, then laid down on the bed. “This all happened so fast.”

Macready got up and sat on the edge of it, facing her. “Kind of, but also went slow. We have known each other, wanted each other, for so long. And those years that we were apart, when you left the caverns…” he trailed off, his jaw clenching. He still struggled with what she did to survive, if only he had found her sooner. 

Her hand came up and squeezed his arm. “It’s okay, you know. It is all in the past, we are together now. Everything that happened led to this moment.”

He leaned down and kissed her, less sweet and more hungry. Not like the kisses from the ceremony, where he was kissing his blushing bride, but the passionate kisses of a man who wanted a beautiful woman. Lucy started chuckling against his lips. “What’s so funny?” He almost growled. 

“Daisy told me that back in her day, people used to wait to have sex until after they were married. The wedding night was a big deal, because the women were expected to be virgins. Isn’t that ridiculous?”

“Well, who am I to say no to tradition?” Macready smiled and stretched out over her, planting a leg between her thighs. 

Her gasp went right to his cock. “We have fucked before, you know. We didn’t wait.”

“Yes, I know. I was there.” She rolled her eyes at his sarcasm, even as his hand went down to press his thumb to her nipple through the shirt. “Don’t roll your eyes at me,” he said with a snarl. Tired of the cloth being in the way of touching her, he pulled her shirt over her head and his mouth immediately came down to take her nipple in. Fuck, those gasps that came from her mouth. 

Her fingers went into his hair as he sucked and pulled on each nipple, twisting the short locks through her fingers. He groaned at the action, pulling back on her nipples with his teeth and releasing them with a pop. She pulled him up by his hair, and he went back to her mouth, pushing his tongue, needing to be inside her as much as possible. Her legs wrapped around his waist and she pushed her hips up against him, and he growled against her mouth. “Impatient?”

“It’s been too long,” she moaned out.

“I just made love to you the other day.”

She shook her head, arching her back up against him again. “We went too long, waited too long for this. Entirely too long without each other.”

He propped himself up on his elbows by her head, and ran his fingers over her jaw, pressing kisses to her lips. “We have the rest of our lives together.”

Macready watched as a tear fell down her cheek, and he furrowed his brow. “Even if we spent every day of our lives together, it wouldn’t be enough.”

Fuck, that made his chest hurt but she was fucking right. It would never be enough. They were made for each other. Without warning he pushed himself inside her, all the way in one thrust, and her mouth sat open in a silent moan. “I love you, Lucy.”

“Fuck, RJ. I love you, too.”

He pulled out to the head, and pushed back in. “I love you, so much.” He set a hard pace. Harder than before. This was almost desperate. They mouth clawed and bit and scratched anything in reachHe fucked her hard, deep, burying himself in her with each hard slam. 

He pressed his teeth to the pulse at her throat, and she came apart under him. Her cunt tightened around him, almost stilling him but he continued pushing in and out of her, enjoying how she jumped with each shocking wave of the orgasm crashing over her. He was staring down at her, watching her body slowly relax in an afterglow and his own end came, just as sudden as hers, and he buried himself in her cunt while he emptied. 

Then, her hand came up and touched his face, and he realized she was wiping something off. He was crying, and he hadn’t even noticed it. “Shit, sorry.”

He looked down and saw the silent tears on her cheeks, too. He rolled off of her, falling to her side but holding her just as close. Fuck, this is what forever feels like.


End file.
